Day 4: What I listen to...

I dig podcasts. I used to do my own show. Thinking that I may start a new show someday. When I jump in my sanctuary - MY CAR - podcasts educate me, teach me stuff and tell me stories from far away places. I’ll just rest here for a moment, because I do find myself volunteering to drive anywhere and everywhere these days. I love driving on my own and it is a place where I truly have a second to myself. And I’m ok with that.

Do you know the feeling? 

I’ve been a mom now for nearly 8 years, and in those years my concentration level has gone down the drain. Reading happens in bite size portions and books like to spread themselves over several years… so I really get value for money. Podcasts offer a great in between.

When I get in my car and flutter open my ears, my blood pressure drops and I feel relaxed. This can’t happen with the kids on a drive along. They booooh me until sweet music fills ‘er up. 

So what podcasts do I enjoy. HA. I was thinking maybe saving this for the guilty pleasure post, but I have enough material for that one too. So here it goes. 

My 3 go to podcasts. 

Woolful… A knitting podcast, but so much more. A lot of episodes about people who work with sheep. I’m crying laughing as I read this because it sounds so fucking strange. But it is such an inspiring podcast. Instant calm and inspired for how I want to live my everyday life. 

Love, sex, desire… The more I work with women and myself, the more I feel intrigued to learn more about my own sexuality and pleasure. Susana interviews a lot of cool people, although most of them are in Australia. Am searching for similar podcast with teachers closer to DK. I ask for a host that doesn’t get too kittenish, I know that would be a problem for me. Suggestions? 

Living Homegrown… When we left the city and moved out here this self sufficient business was a big motivation factor. And we are well on our way. We have learned a lot from our mistakes and this year pretty on top of the plan. Theresa brings on guests from around the World and also people who are farming etc. in the North, which is relevant to us. Any anxiety about the World, War or Trump fades away when I listen to this podcast. ;)  

So I know if any my friends are reading this they are screaming that I need help. I would love your inspiration. Which podcasts do you listen to? 

And prefer the ones that dive into nature, women’s health, homesteading, sex. 

Hit me. <3

Prompt for January 5th: What she says... 

Day 3: Dragons

uudelgnpowy-nick-karvounis.jpg

The original prompt was *Your little dragon is misbehaving*… Hmmm, well the tone between the adults in the house has been lingering in the dirty mind realm and I couldn’t get my mind past the tackiness... I downsized to dragons. 

What do I know about dragons - not much. Stig (my partner) taught me to watch and enjoy fantasy movies. But the love is only a few years deep. And to be honest I don't seem to have the stamina or concentration to really understand that category of films - or what the dragon is all about. 

I could only think of the dragon from 'The Never Ending Story' and remember how mesmerized I was by it's weird bubbly back. The next one was 'Puff the Magic Dragon' and how sad I felt when we were forced to sing it in school. 

Skipping past that. 
Where do you go with Dragons. The above felt too irrelevant. Contemplating the practice of exercising my creativity and embarking on the a post a day, this was exactly what I was wanting. Where do I go? 

A wise man said this: 

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
— John Lennon

I am a dreamer. My man is the realist. I am also the one with the most nightmares. A dreaded part of my wild imagination. My nightmares stole my attention, most of my life. Jailed in my mind. But "dragons" existed in the realest sense. And that has been the hardest to explain to people around me. 

My work has been allowing my dreams to live in fertile soil. 

The other thing dragon calls on is strength and courage. Own the shit. This creature shows up so timely. Own the story. Question what you call reality. Let your creativity be explored. 

Do you believe in Dragons? 

Prompt January 4th: What I listen to... 

Day 2: I buy... nothing new

So it seems 2017 will become the year of challenges, in a good and fun way. Pushing me out of the comfort of the usual. Good!

As 2016 came to an end, my mom offered a challenge for 2017. A year of buying nothing new. 

I accepted. 

But what does that even mean? 

A few years ago I interviewed Bea Johnson (listen to that interview here), she is the Queen of Zero Waste and author of the book Zero Waste home (2013). 

I was interested in the environment and my impact on it. How could I change the way I live to have less of a negative impact. 

I have a post coming up about Zero Waste later, so I won’t get into that. But this interest has led me, and my mom, to the 2017 buy nothing new. 
In our house, we have A LOT of stuff. Things we need, things forget we have, don’t use, don’t need. 

There is a tendency to buy more of all the stuff, and dump it in a cupboard and then it just sits there until I go nuts and declutter. 

I have never been a huge shopper, but even so - things sneak in. 

This isn’t just a money saving ordeal. I really want to explore how much stuff and needs dominate my life. And if this can be liberating to eliminate from our day to day hustle. 

What does this challenge consist of? 

  • I won’t be buying anything new for 2017, no electronics, clothes, thingies, kitchen gear (even mason jars… arghhh)
  • If people want to give me presents (I love presents…), I ask for experiences or something used
  • I can buy things from thrifts stores, friends, yard sales, DBA and trend sales and places like these. 
  • I can buy food… no brainer… But will by as locally as I can, organic 
  • Toiletries - well the essentials and will commit myself to buying the ones that don’t come in plastic. 
  • Cleaning products, in bulk from LØSmarket
  • And more on plastic, I will do what I can to find the non plastic-warped foods etc. But this will be impossible in some cases. But the intention is clear - as little plastic as possible. 
  • No free samples, these are also new, highly wasteful and most often not really needed
  • Hauling out the sewing machine and repairing what I can, before tossing it out
  • Books… I have a book fetish, which means I have shelves of books I haven’t read yet. Also the library is amazing, I can get any book I need here. So no books this year. 
  • Art supplies… I have enough at the moment to last me a life time. But I will be using them I’ve decided. 
  • Courses… the online ones. Not really that wasteful. But an area where I have spent SOOOO much money. I signed up for many I haven't completed and I don’t need more to not finish. So 2017 I will not buy any online courses. I can do live workshops though. 

These are the basics. As life continues I'm sure questions, needs, demands will arise. So I will do status posts now and then throughout the year. 

Do I think this will be easy, not at all. Even though I don’t consider myself a big spender, I think I will be shocked by how often I have gone to store off- and online to scratch the shopper itch. 

So here’s to as little breaking in 2017 as possible. ;)

Do you want to take on the challenge of buying nothin new in 2017? Throw a link to your post in the comments. 

 

More inspiration on the topic. 

http://robgreenfield.tv/nothingnew/https://youtu.be/2krmmZ-690A

https://youtu.be/2krmmZ-690A

 

Prompt for January 3rd: Dragons

Day 1... a pledge and a quest

This photo pretty much sums it up...&nbsp;

This photo pretty much sums it up... 

Goodbye 2016 and thank f*** you’re over. Nothing else I’d like to add to the amount of reflective posts about the year that just ended. But I welcome 2017 with hope, excitement and determination. YOU? 

I am a tad hung over as I write this. No proofreading done, as Emma my star is probably doing what I dream I could today… So you get the unedited version today. 

Well, I have made a decision. One to see if this blog thing is dead. Over. Done. Or can it come to life when perspective is changed. Can I find the joy of feeling my fingers play on the keyboard, like a piano. 

See the thing is that ‘business’ kind of killed my joy of writing. The era of how to posts strangled the creative string in me. All the good advice - or at least advice - on how things would lift off for me if I just followed the script. Telling people how to do shit in 5-10 easy steps. I gulped it all, wanting to succeed. But I don’t know easy, and am not good on advice. I may dish it out if asked, but always more of a this is what I did reply. Which means I have shared nada the past few years. 

It blocked me from showing the unpolished me. Resistance bricked a pretty solid wall. 

But can I do business without the brilliant post that will separate me from the pack, and let me shine like an expert. Well we will see. I hope not though. Expert I am not. Explorer at best. And plain old ordinary me always. Of course I can… right? 

What does this have to do with my line of work? Nothing maybe, possibly everything. Because I am uncovering stories, bits and pieces of the construction that is my life. All the weird odds and ends. And I know that I will learn a few things about myself along the way. 

This project, or challenge if you will, is a personal exploration. What can I uncover? What will my mind create. Where and to what depth will it run if I write a post a day, from a prompt that has nothing really to do with what I do in my life. It is no self help prompt, no earth wise, women thang

I chose a book and took the pledge and on December 31st 2017 we will see what became of it. Will I run dry? Will I write myself alive. Will I share with you the unspoken within me, or will I get to January 20th and have nothing else to say. Who knows. That will be the fun part. My blog will not go on a quest to save anyone with tips and tricks. I don’t know if anyone will read or care. 

There is the opportunity for you to join me. I will share the upcoming prompt each day. 

Come back here and share the link to you post in the comments and we could get quite the blogroll going. Doesn’t matter if it’s in Danish or English join in. No demand for you to join in daily. But would be great to read the stories uncovered for you. 

It could bring back the blogging greatness. Letting our stories be revealed and the inspiration that drips from them. 

The unknown feels exciting. Maybe it will inspire you do go on a quest. 

A post a day keeps the doctor away. I will be back tomorrow. 

January 2nd prompt: I buy with my little eye… (I totally made this one up as I have something to share about it… HA!)

 

It's that time of year again...

Every other year or so I come back to this story on the blog, to this ‘little’ event in my life. 

This year it is the 15th anniversary of a big decision I took as a 19 year old gal looking for some adventure in life. Just after 9/11 15 years ago, I took a plane to Sarajevo. I was going to work on the American led HQ camp Butmir. Later a detour to Kosovo punched the last air out of me. 

It was the beginning of a journey that changed be. Broke me it felt like, coming back. 

The thing about coming back to this story isn’t so much re-living and slumping about in the same old wounds. For me, this year, it has more to do with the story. Over the past 3 years I have been digging deep into story work, how they change, how new aspects of story become relevant and triggered at different times. How our relationship to it shifts. How we cling and how we let go. 

Like any woven material, one thread is a part of the bigger picture and it goes into the fabric; you can’t see where it disappeared to, but it is there, holding the structure. This fraction of my story still holds part of the structure. But it is no longer the main color.

For the first 10 years after returning home, the story was anxiety, alcohol, mis-trust, no peace inside, stress in my body, anger, frustration, depression. Slowly the fog started to clear and I felt a little more alive. I found myself with children, a man, a chill-laxed life. But turmoil was still there and it still needs some tending to. 

Back in the day I thought I would go back to my old self, but the fact is I still don’t take overwhelm that well to put it lightly… It is a challenge with kids and relationships in general, but I am starting to see that this is a part of the foundation I work with right now. Before I thought it was the main fix it focus of my life. 

I need to create some space for silence or it caves in on me. I stress easily and little things can quickly became very large. I know that too many people, their bullshit, the amount of games being played, creates too much chaos in me; I need to learn to let it be. I cannot create safety within for myself by knowing what everyone’s thinking or doing… the control freak must be let off. She was however a good companion for a while. 

I need my life to be simple. Complex does my head in. It may seem boring or isolating, but I need to have simplicity to function. It is not an escape; it is my lifeline. Oh and sleep, for a recovering anxiety person, sleep is essential - I have not been getting enough of that for the past 4 years…

It has been a battle between ambition, dreams, owning and honoring the small steps I need to take to be well. A battle of being a resourceful woman, but with a bigger faucet that drains the tank quicker. For saying yes to shit, when no would’ve been the wiser choice. 

As I sit back and remember, it was a wild ride, I had fun, it was horrible and destroying. I am grateful for, some of, the people I met, for the learnings and for spending a year and a half in a beautiful country that was re-building itself after terror beyond our imagination. 

But this story is becoming a thread in the very beginning of the now large woven fabric. I accept that it has left permanent marks on my body and in my soul, but the story is changing in its toll. 

Basically, this past - while it has been about acceptance rather than bulldozing through to get to where the world seemed to want me - has been about creating the right boundaries for me. About trying to sense what was me and what was everyone else. About owning me and not saying I am sorry for being so.

A journey we all take - being us - this is just how that thread played out for me. 

Here’s to stories that hurt and adventures that allow us to grow… 

Maybe to return in a few years, maybe not.