Love

The Magic of Circle with Sora Surya No (Copy)

Sora Surya No is a transformative business coach, intuitive mentor, international retreat leader, inspirational speaker, fire igniter, heart whisperer, nomadic entrepreneur, world traveler, sister, friend, and lover of love.

Listen in here

She is also a dear friend and woman of great inspiration to me. She has shown me the true value of sisterhood and she guests the Podcast show today, to talk about sisters, circle and why that kind of support is so important. 

Sora brings women together online and in person all over the world. The groups she runs are so full of love and openness. Please check her out here:

Web www.sorasuryano.com/

Facebook www.facebook.com/RadiantWomensCircle

And my favorite Instagram https://instagram.com/sorasuryano/

Simple Pleasures vol. 1 (Copy)

Simple pleasures, but why not aim for the big mind-blowing out of this world experiences. I like simple. I find joy in the small(er) things, as they bring me to where I already am. What is right here. What can be enjoyed, seen and felt here. It's not hunting sensation or avoiding pain, it is waking up to the pleasure of life.

When I was at several anxiety attacks a day, keeping myself indoors, afraid of living because it felt too painful - one of the things that supported the transition into feeling alive again was opening up to the "little" things. A nice shower, a song I fell in love with, a kiss, a hug, a good laugh, the sun, silence, sounds.

Funny thing is, I haven't felt the need to move away from those things, they are what life is to me. Simple pleasures happen everyday, and they make me feel full, content. Big bursts of special occasions are cool, but not what I live for. They do not make my daily life rich.

So for inspiration I will be sharing a simple pleasures series on the blog, and welcome to vol. 1. Grab what resonates or use the direction to open up to the things in your life.

Here we go.

Moving to the tunes...

I have fallen in love with a young woman from Tennessee. Valerie Junemakes me wanna move, fills my body with ease, touches something deep inside. Music has always done crazy things to me, and I love to dance. This week this song has done the trick. Enjoy.

For fun...

David Lynch Weekend

A lonesome evening, when the kids were finally asleep and I found myself bored - I ran through Instagram and found the funniest # ever. I laughed till I cried which can be weird when you are on your own.

It is #whymysoniscrying

Now the funny thing is not the photos of crying children.

What makes it so funny are the reasons they are crying. The situations where you as a parent feel you have dropped into the closing scene of a David Lynch movie - What, why, where, I don't get it (still have no clue what Lost Highway was about).

Like when you give your kids the snack they specifically asked for, but placed the plate an inch in the wrong direction and it is mayhem for about 15 mins. Or you walked into a room, not knowing it was going to ruin their day. Or you breath too close to them etc. It is funny because, thankfully you realize you are not alone, and that the frustration seems to be universal.

If you need a laugh check out that hashtag on instagram.

For stillness...

Sitting outside...

...closing your eyes and feeling the air and wind against your face. Sensing the crispness of winter. We don't have to make it formal and call it mediation, or set ourselves up to all sorts of things. Just that moment when you allow yourself a moment of stillness, to just be. Letting your body sink a little deeper to where you are. Knowing that space has nothing to do with time. It can be for one in breath or 100. How does it feel.

Stillness simpel pleasures

Episode #18 with Adedayo Fashanu (Copy)

The art of being alive

 LISTEN IN HERE

Adedayo Fashanu is a millennial who refuses to play small and is ready to be a game changer in her generation. A writer, mental health and wellness advocate. She lives on the one philosophy that we are all designed to live a thriving life regardless of our backgrounds, resources available, locations or anything we might feel as an existing barrier to rising above our status Quo.

She is a Nigerian born twenty-three year old who is a goal-getter, a dreamer and a visionary. She began college at the age of fifteen and was recorded to be the youngest attended student and graduate with her associates at seventeen and her bachelors in psychology at nineteen, currently in her masters to be a psychotherapist.  She is also a graduate of the Institute of Integrative Nutrition NYC where she studied holistic health and nutrition.

An emerging social entrepreneur; her self-started company LifestyleWellbeing Co. LLC is a growing new business which she aims to use it a platform to promote mental health and holistic wellness.

Her latest undertaking is a coffee-table book she is creating titled “The Art of Being Alive.” The book project is a collection of stories from people all over the world that explores what it means to come alive and to live fully. She believes that by sharing people’s come alive stories in this book, the reader will be pumped up to go live out fully alive because the art of being alive is on the other side of fear.

Social Media Links:

www.facebook.com/lifestylewellbeing

www.facebook.com/feelalivemovement

www.facebook.com/AdedayoFashanu

instagram @AdedayoFashanu

3 ways you can be a part of the evolving of the project: 

1.Be in the book or a part of the movement by using this form to submit your inspiring story: http://www.formget.com/app/form/share/WFbK-93375 (every submission will be used either in the book if submitted early or in the social media feed to promote the movement)

2.Watch the youtube trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9w3XvuKACOc&authuser=0

3.Like us on facebook to support the project : www.facebook.com/feelalivemovement

Watch out for our possibly indiegogo campaign to push this project to the next level…

Episode #17 with Patricia Mauerhofer (Copy)

Mind Body and Business with Patricia Mauerhofer

Today's guest is a wise woman who guests us to share your passion and knowledge mind body and business.

Mind-Body Success Mentor, Patricia Mauerhofer empowers women in business to making money and making a difference without harming their own health or sacrificing close relationships.

A certified project manager and professional coach, she is living her purpose and empowering others to find theirs. As a practicing Buddhist, she is mindful to talk her walk. Part of her mission is to spill over the happiness and joy she found within during many years of a debilitating disease and after healing herself in 2011 from this 'incurable' condition.

Patricia is guiding, coaching and teaching women who want to step into their power and live their best life in English, German, Swiss German and French.

Patricia's Website: http://patriciamauerhofer.com/

Connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/patriciamauerhofer.mindbodysuccess

Life status: It’s complicated… (Copy)

Simple living

I know complicated! Yet I have never dealt with it well. Every time someone says “It’s complicated” I feel heaviness in my body - no thank you, never mind.

I am in many ways simple minded. I loose the storyline in sci-fi movies. I feel confused 3 lines in... “In a galaxy far far away, xanax-3000 was moving himself through time using a vibrator on fire. Humans on planet shiatsu were threatened as they had started becoming so full of themselves” Huh… ?? After 30 minutes of my boyfriend trying to explain it,  we both accept that I will catch 1/3 of the story and enjoy falling asleep to it instead.

I could never concentrate for more than 5 minutes reading anything scientific.

The harder the better. The more the merrier... not so much for me.

I feel that secretly, we glorify busy - doing more. Not out loud, no no we hate busy - but someone who say “Oh this week, yeah I went for a few walks and read a book”, it doesn’t really stir up a lot. Someone who has 2 jobs, runs the family neatly, looks great, works out, flew across the world in a day, volunteers for 3 charities, and does her husband 6 times a week, is awesome.

I am not devaluing any of it, but I do feel we in some ways as a society we have put complicated on a pedestal. The more complicated, the more value. The more praise and awe. But is there a shift happening here?

The most complicated for me was when worry became anxiety and darkness took over. Trying to manage the future, my thoughts, my identity crisis, people’s misunderstanding and disappointment, work, money, wanting more (of everything), the city, stress, relationship, body, health, exercise, getting better, faking it and making it, family, meditation, business, my own demands…. argh someone hit the stop button. So many choices, that it almost numbs me.

I have done complicated.

This year we chose to move from the city to the house I have talked about a few times. We wanted more simplicity in our life. We wanted to reduce the costs of living. We wanted to work less. We wanted our kids to see us more. We wanted to filter out some of the constant noise and stimulation of the city. All the doing was robbing me from what I was actually working so hard to have - happiness.

I am not perfect. It is a transition and complicated still get’s to me. I do however feel a HUGE shift in energy and ease when I choose simple. When I let it all drop and look at what makes my life rich - it’ s not more stuff or moneto.

Simple isn't for everyone. We need the people who can do the science and work out complicated stuff. I too like to dream and admire the academics who I have no clue what are saying half of the time.

But HOW MUCH of it ALL do we ALL need, ALL of the time?

Simple to me is freedom.

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My 1:1 Intensive is a one to one 90 minute session for hardworking women who want to simplify their daily lives.

Working alongside me, in those 90 minutes we will look at what hasn't worked in the past, work towards sustainable ways to simplify, and most important look at the patterns that are no longer serving you.

At the moment, adding more into an already demanding schedule probably isn’t working for you; when can you really fit this in?

Let me show you how.

Read more...

The little house in the woods... (Copy)

When I was young, around 7 I think as we were still living in Canada at the time, I used to dream of living on my own in the woods. I was self-sufficient, no TV, heated the house with a fireplace. I had a garden and an old truck. I would go to the store once a week and stock up. I would write and it would be peaceful. I think that last piece might have been added in as I was the eldest of 4 at the time, and quiet wasn't let in the door. I dreamt that I would knit sweaters for poor kids in Africa... well my gram knit a lot and Labrador was so cold, I couldn't imagine that it could ever be too hot for a sweater. In that dream I was happy. I remember feeling at total ease when I thought about a life like that. I would chop wood, and being it was a 7 year old girl dreaming - there was no man in sight.

I love being by myself, going out in nature and the crisp Fall air especially. I am really only a "big gathering of people" person when I have a few beers. City life never got me falling in love, although I gave it a good try.

As we come to the end of 2014, everywhere there is a focus on the year to come, what do you want, where are you going, how do want to feel, notch it up, want more, do less, do better. It's all good, and setting intentions are great. For me around this time I like to sit back and enjoy what the year gone had to offer. This year that includes the little dream I had as a young girl, coming true.

Carina Lyall

(that's our house :))

Well most of it anyway· We added some kids, and don't have a truck. There is a TV for movies. I don't really finish any knitting I start. BUT, I am feeling what I felt when I was a little girl with a dream.

My friends look at me funny when I say I love the life we have here "But you're a city girl"... Nah... I am exactly where I want to be, right here. <3

So as 2014 comes to an end, what are you grateful for?

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My 1:1 Intensive is a one to one 90 minute session for hardworking women who want to simplify their daily lives.

Working alongside me, in those 90 minutes we will look at what hasn't worked in the past, work towards sustainable ways to simplify, and most important look at the patterns that are no longer serving you.

At the moment, adding more into an already demanding schedule probably isn’t working for you; when can you really fit this in?

Let me show you how.

Read more...

Episode #14 with Sara Christensen (Copy)

sara2

We had such a fun interview. I laughed most of the time and Sara is a such a great woman.

This podcast is about health, the body, why it isn't about food and oh yeah - Granny underwear... :)

About Sara

As an accomplished CEO, acclaimed coach, dynamic speaker and insightful author, Sara Christensen brings enormous enthusiasm, insight and lots of laughter to her clients.

Sara has been a successful entrepreneur for the past 20 years. She currently presides over a online health and weight-loss coaching business. Her programs are delivered virtually and available to women all across the world.

Previously she founded a wireless tech company in 2000 and ran the company until 2010 when she sold it. At that point, the company was doing $10 million in sale/year and had 75 full-time employees. It was Sprint's largest business partner for 5-years running and had clients such as Best Buy, State Farm, Starbucks, Microsoft, and Qualcomm.

She also worked in business development for a dot-com during the first peak of the Internet. She was in corporate information technology and marketing management for 8 years prior to that, at a high-tech firm, large giftware company, business development firm, and a real estate company. At the same time that she was working these corporate jobs, she founded and ran a consulting company that specialized in the sports and beauty industries.

Sara earned her Bachelors of Science degree from St. Cloud State University. She is a Certified Health Coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and is certified through the American Association of Drugless Practitioners. She is also a Group Fitness Instructor and Personal Trainer.  

Check out her free resources here... 

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SOCIAL MEDIA

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https://www.facebook.com/SaraChristensenweightloss

https://twitter.com/saracxoxo

http://www.pinterest.com/saracxoxo/

http://instagram.com/sarachristensenxoxo

a tribute to: sleeping children (Copy)

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote:

"I have arrived, I am home" is the shortest Dharma Talk I have ever given. "I have arrived, I am home" means "I don't want to run anymore." You need that insight in order to be truly established in the here and now, and to embrace life with all its wonders.

mindfulness in eberyday life

What a powerful sentence. For me it has always been a balance. I like running... well I like being driven, I like the passionate and excited side of me. I like the part of me that creates ideas for every step I take. What I have learned through the years of practice and training is to notice when that isn't serving me, when I no longer fills me up, but is draining me instead. And also learned to see that all that running robs me of the things that really creates a deep connection in my life.

It is so valuable to check and see in the moment what life is. In everyday life what gives me joy, happiness, a sense of belonging and depth aren't things like winning the lottery or running fast - it is the simple things.

Like last night, my oldest was asleep and I went in to tuck her in again. I stopped and looked at her, and she looked so big, yet still with her little baby face. She was so peaceful and cute. I was filled with love and gratitude. It brought me home. I didn't need to run to feel love, I didn't need to run to feel purpose, it was right there in that moment.

Moments like those pop up every day. They're not big sensational moments that will be written down in history. But shit they're valuable. It can be a good laugh, a moment when everyone at the table just shuts up and we are there together no strings attached. It can be that brief touch that let's you know you have been seen. The smell of the crisp Fall air. It is random smiles on the street. It's sitting on a chair by your house enjoying the sunset or dinner with close friends.

We don't need to run.

Episode #9 moving with Michele Young (Copy)

Self-compassion podcast show

A short episode on the power of moving your body. Connecting to your sensuality through dance. A fun talk with Michele Young.

Michele Young, MA is the creator of  MY Inspired Life which is dedicated to helping clients live healthy in mind, body, and spirit.  She combines her work as a fitness instructor, her Master’s degree in counseling psychology, and her interest in the arts to offer fitness classes, wellness workshops, as well as life coaching services.  Contact Michele if you are ready to start creating YOUR inspired life!

Also check her out on FB and Twitter www.facebook.com/MY-Inspired-Life and www.twitter.com/myinspiredtweet

Connect in Thursday: Friends (Copy)

Connect with friends

In times of stress, one of the first things I have neglected were my friends. The people that I didn’t have to feed or pick up somewhere. Not that I didn't miss them, I just couldn't find the energy to give anything.

But they are the connections that fill me up, give me that something extra and a good laugh. And I know from talking to them after hard times, that they never expected me to give a whole lot.

It can seem hard and overwhelming to to anything but the absolute necessary in times of stress. But those who truly love, support and care for us, are the ones that can give you what you need.

Connecting to your female friends is today’s focus.

[Tweet "This is a shout out to my friends. Thank you! È

Pick your phone, go to the computer or get your mail pigeon ready, and send a note of gratitude to a woman who is dear to you. Let them know how much they mean to you, why they are important, what you are grateful for in them.

Episode #7 Pleasure with Lesley Stedmon (Copy)

Self-compassion podcast woman

Do you miss pleasure in your life?

Today's show is a great and important one. Our guest today is bringing pleasure back, not as a luxury but as a part of everyday life. I love it.

Lesley Stedmon believes that pleasure is non-negotiable. She wants to live in a world where busy women take the time to make pleasure a priority. Merging her experience as a Registered Nurse and Certified Sexual Health Educator.

Lesley created a movement called The Sensual Sisterhood; a growing community of women who desire to experience the most sensual version of themselves.

Through 1:1 coaching, online workshops, client intensives and destination retreats, Lesley has consistently created a sacred and safe space for hundreds of women to reclaim their desire, embody their truth and own their strong, sacred, sensual selves.

You can find out more about Lesley and The Sensual Sisterhood at www.thesensualsisterhood.com

Episode #6 with Casey Erin Wood (Copy)

Casey erin wood

I was curious about what authentic brilliance is, and invited Casey on the show to tell her story and why she feels Authentic brilliance is something we all have.

Casey Erin Wood has a simple philosophy: the universe is speaking to us, we should listen.

As a writer, speaker and coach she has dedicated her life to helping women own what she calls their

Authentic Brilliance

, the quality of clarity and confidence that allows you to walk into a room and transform people through your sheer presence.  She believes we each possess this unique essence and that we are on this planet to share it.

One client shared, “I want more of what she's got - motivation, inspiration, excitement, brain waves, illumination and vision.", while another declared, “Casey is your go-to gal if you're looking to shine even brighter in the world."  And another simply said, “She brought me home”.

When she’s not empowering women to own their Authentic Brilliance you can find her nibbling dark chocolate, having dance parties with her daughter or rocking tree pose on her dock.

In this episode we talked about: 

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 why connection the body is important

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how to access your authentic brilliance

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 what that means

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how your surrounding and sisterhood support you

You can check out Casey’s new group program here, it’s all about deepening your connection with your intuition!

Connect in Thursday: Look up and around (Copy)

Look up - the self-compassion

On this fine Thursday I would like you to look up. We can get so focused on where we are going, what we need to get done, that we miss little moments of beauty right in the middle of the familiar and ordinary. Curiosity is such a catalyst for adventure and that muscle may need some exercise, flexing and stretching. A simple practice like this can be a good way to start.

Today's practice: Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are?

Beginning to open up with curiosity, with presence where you are, to experience in a more intimate way is more simple than you may think. Even if looking up takes you to the grey ceiling in the office. What you do you notice?

Share it with your friends.

[Tweet "Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are? #connectinthursday @carinalyall"]

Thursday is connect in day on the blog. I offer a short, free practice or reflection to support you to connect to yourself and others with more presence, self-compassion and care. This is a little nugget of inspiration for you. Allow it move through you, and be open to what it may bring. Stay tuned here on the blog every Thursday.

xo Carina

Episode #5 Inspirational Woman Bri Seeley (Copy)

Inspirational Woman Project

Bri Seeley is here with a strong message and an inspirational project that is going to touch the hearts of many women.

She is an entrepreneur for all things woman that is passionate about sharing her story, and the stories of other amazing women. Her training and passion as a fashion designer led her to create a fashion label dedicated to femininity and helping women connect with their true selves.

Bri has paved her path by surrounding herself with inspirational women, which revealed to her a disheartening trend that she is dedicated to change. She recognized how intensely women search outside of themselves for happiness and validation, losing touch with what makes them women and conforming to external pressures of how women should show up in the world.

This gap between how women define themselves and how society defines them has created an immense amount of discord and unhappiness. Thus the Inspirational Woman Project was born. 

In this podcast Bri and I talk about

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 her upcoming book and the journey that brought her to creating it

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 why women don't feel like an inspiration

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how digging deeper into the theme of womanhood has changed her, and those who participated, life

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 why this is (still) an important topic to explore

Check out more about the project here and connect with Bri on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram

a tribute to LOVE (Copy)

9 years ago I met the man, it would turn out, who changed me. Tuesday is photo day on the blog showing glimpses of me life, practice and journey. Today is a tribute to the man, the love and the life I have shared with my blonde Scandinavian (who I first thought must be boring - how wrong I was). <3

#1 Before the kids. We look so well rested.

Love life and partnership

#2 Now expecting child #1. I am sure I said something REALLY funny. Still look very well rested.

9 years together.

#3 Ok now way past birth of first child and SO hard to find a picture we're both in . Such a bad photo, but HA! at least the wee one looks pretty fly! The second child is on the way.

roadtrip

#4 Things like this now dominate our camera...

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#5 and this my phone...

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#6 But once in a while we still get time to get away and enjoy each other's company.

Parents weekend out

#7 And here's to the next 9 years my love <3 (not knowing why it looks like you have fangs...)

to the next 6 years.

Podcast Episode #3 with Eyenie Schultz (Copy)

eyenie

The beautiful Eyenie Schultz guests with us today and shares her fun spirit and insights on breaking free from the grey Poncho… (yes me I had mine on the first time I met her…) and shining bright.

Eyenie is a SoulStyle Coach and Visibility Facilitator who helps women upgrade their styles so that the WOW they are on the inside finally matches what they wear and how they feel on the outside. 

She’s a “make others feel WOW” junkie, spirit expander, appearance enhancer and style revamper/curator.

Eyenie’s mission is to help you Live YOUR Technicolor Priestess by aligning your inner and outer beauty to create synergy, and enhance all areas of your life. She is a firm believer in focusing on all the magic and electricity inside and around you so that it may EXPAND in your life.

She joined us for a talk about

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 Freedom and self-expression and how we can hide behind clothes

The self-compassionate woman podcast

How to tackle a frumpin' closet and why you don't need a huge budget to shine

The self-compassionate woman podcast

Why it can be hard to allow ourselves to me seen and why clothes is so much more that just being vain

You are going to LOOOVE her. Also check out her free 10 day challenge here... 

Podcast Episode #2 with Julie Genovese (Copy)

bio-image Julie Genovese

This podcast goes to show that the online world hooks you up with amazing people that might have passed you by. I am a true fan of Julie's, and I am so happy she joined us.

Julie Bond Genovese is an inspirational speaker, coach, artist, mom and best-selling author of her award-winning memoir, Nothing Short of Joy, endorsed by Wayne Dyer, Dr. Christiane Northrup & Dr. Bernie Siegel. Being born a dwarf, with degenerative arthritis, was not the poison Julie originally believed - it was the cure.

She's been featured on TV & radio including Anderson Cooper Live, NBC LX, The Aware Show & Oprah.com. Julie mentors spiritual seekers and earthy-crunchy-creatives to transform life’s grief, let the soul lead, and woo our hearts back toward the Light. 

Julie came on the show and shared her wisdom and awesome laugh. This is what we talked about:

The self-compassionate woman podcast

Julie's amazing story and why she chose joy for herself

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 The art of breathing deeply

The self-compassionate woman podcast

The challenges that can leave on in the darker parts of life and what you can get from shifting perspective

You can check out Julie's free ebook "Release the Blocks So Creativity Rocks!" at http://www.nothingshortofjoy.com

On my nightstand... it's overloaded (Copy)

When people post lists or pictures of the books they love or are reading at the moment, I always feel inspired... my fingers type in the url for my favorite online book store and really it all happens so fast, my brain doesn't really understand the chain of events until the confirmation email lands in my inbox. I love books. I see my partner's eyes glaze over every time another brown parcel is stuffed into the mailbox, "Do  you really read all of them, I never see you finish one"... he dares to share. Really I feel he shouldn't have any say, as he might be the last person on the planet who still buys 20 cd's a month.

Anyway, here is what I have my nose buried in right now. Of course due to work I buy a lot of book about meditation, inner work, women and story work. But at times it just becomes too much and I have to mix it up and read other kinds of literature.

So as inspiration, and clearly I don't only have 1 book going at once, this is what's on my nightstand at the moment...

Books I love...

I placed Karl right in the middle, as I am sure he would appreciate it that company...

Episode #1 - With Jess Grippo (Copy)

jessgrippophoto

The new Podcast is off to a great start, starring the Beautiful Jess Grippo

Jess Grippo is a dancer, writer, inspirational speaker, and life coach. Her work is about inspiring people to dance through life: to become more self-expressed, to find peace with their bodies, and to get out of their own way when it comes to making creative dreams happen.

Having left her dancing and creativity aside for far too long, Jess finally discovered true self-expression and creative fulfillment through making her own dance videos. She now actively creates dance work and integrates this experience into her practice as a life coach. She offers inspirational dance classes, coaching programs, and her weekly blog, Creative Fridays.

She was a recently featured TEDx speaker in her talk, “The Dance Less Travelled.”

Jess is a very inspiring woman here are a few things we covered in this podcast

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 self-expression and why it can be challenging to do so

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 Jess' story and how she came to dance and expressing herself through dance and creativity

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how creativity and self-expression can bring us together, rather than be a selfish act

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 Jess shares an exercise that she uses with clients and gets our groove on... you don't want to miss it

If you are interested in more info on Jess' work or taking her free 7 day challenge you can find her here...

The perfect, imperfect poem (Copy)

imperfect

Maybe we just misunderstand what it says - I'm-perfect... :)

All I want to do today is share a poem about the icky and sticky subject of imperfection.  It is such a lovely poem and I feel it resonating with  A LOT in my life. Do you?

 

IMPERFECTION

I am falling in love with my imperfections The way I never get the sink really clean, forget to check my oil, lose my car in parking lots, miss appointments I have written down, am just a little late.

I am learning to love the small bumps on my face the big bump of my nose, my hairless scalp, chipped nail polish, toes that overlap.

Learning to love the open-ended  mystery of not knowing why

I am learning to fail to make lists, use my time wisely, read the books I should.

Instead I practice inconsistency, irrationality, forgetfulness.

Probably I should hang my clothes neatly in the closet all the shirts together, then the pants, send Christmas cards, or better yet a letter telling of my perfect family.

But I’d rather waste time listening to the rain, or lying underneath my cat learning to purr.

I used to fill every moment with something I could cross off later.

Perfect was the laundry done and folded all my papers graded the whole truth and nothing but

Now the empty mind is what I seek the formless shape the strange  off center sometimes fictional me.

Elizabeth Carlson