Radical Sisterhood and Rebirthing Sanity with Clare Dubois ☾ 3

In this Episode 3 I interview Clare Dubois. 

You will hear:

• How Sisterhood is one the Keys to create massive change

• Why trees and reforestation is important. 

• Clare’s amazing and wild story of how it all began. 

• Why the focus is on the tropical rainforest.

• What and where can we go if we want to make change locally 

• More importantly why Sisterhood and what is the potential if we reconnect to our inner nature and come together as a tribe. 
  

I was really excited and nervous as I have been with all of these people who said yes to an interview. I feel this theme of nature and environmental issues strongly. I feel more hope than despair. And this is good. If we can sense the urgency and yet see ways to make a difference, we are on a good path.

If anything I dream that this episode will be the call to unite. Even though TreeSisters, gather the women the is a calling to all to come together. Alone we can do so much, together we can move mountains.

DISCLAIMER: The sound on my end is a little off in the beginning. Practice a little patience with me and it will get better ;)

Links mentioned in the Podcast: 

www.treesisters.org

https://billiontrees.me

Woman on Fire Video: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogMLcpvfN2o

About Clare Dubois and TreeSisters

Clare Dubois is the founder of TreeSisters.org, a feminine nature based organisation inspiring the world’s women to take shared leadership around tropical reforestation. TreeSisters reflects Clare’s exploration of the links between feminine consciousness and Nature’s intelligence. She and her team experiment overtly to discover how to call forth the unique capacities and creativity of women on behalf of the trees. Currently funding over 2M trees a year, they are calling for all of us to help them reach a goal of a billion trees a year as fast as we possibly can in the face of accelerating climate change.

Clare is known for her whole systems approach to behaviour change and her unending loyalty and love for the natural world. For two decades she created behaviour change processes within the personal growth and social change sectors, and volunteered for three years as the UK co-ordinator for a massive agro-forestry initiative in southern India called Project GreenHands (PGH) before initiating TreeSisters.  In her own life, her aim is to reclaim balance, rediscover freedom and health and to be 'walking permission' for those who are fed up of being held back, and just want to have a go.

A Plastic Planet with Frederikke Magnussen ☾ 1

In case you missed the news, I have launched a podcast! 

Becoming Nature is here to inspire you to come closer to nature.

On episode one of the very first season, I talk to Frederikke Magnussen, co-founderof A Plastic Planet.

Frederikke and his team at A Plastic Planet are on a mission.

They know that conventional plasticis what we see everywhere!

And they know that the way plastic is described is confusing. Some examples are “bio-plastic”,“drop in bio-plastic”, “oxo-biodegradable plastics”- how on earth do we know the difference?!

All three of the aboveconventional plastics take hundreds of years to break down.

And they’re damaging our marine life and polluting our planet at an awful, awful unprecedented rate. 

Or listen on iTunes here...

A Plastic Planet are all about plain speaking.

It’s either plastic, or it’s not plastic!

Plastic, somewhere along the line, has become super confusing and a complicated issue for everyone.

For people who aren’t bothered about change, they just try to complicate it even further!

A Plastic Planet want to bring a straight-talking simplicity to the world of plastic, using language that everyone can relate to. 

Hurrah for plain and simple to understand English!

In the podcast, Frederikke and I talk about:

• the facts about single use plastic

• how we can turn off the tap

• where we can put pressure to help turn the climate ship around

• When you can buy gluten-free, fat-free, dairy-free; why can we not buy plastic-free?

Tune in now and listen to this can’t-miss episode. 

And as a bonus treat, click here to get a free PDF treat - Top tips to turn off the plastic tap.

The Becoming Nature Podcast - Pilot

Something exhilarating is happening.

And I just know you’re going to love it.

My brand newpodcast, Becoming Nature, launches this week.

To say I am excited is an understatement!

Becoming Nature is here to inspire you to come closer to nature.

 

Practically

Spiritually

Bodily 

Even more so this is a personal launch. Saturday the 25th marks a special day, the podcast goes live on what would have been my dear friend's 48th birthday. She passed away in January and I wanted this season 1 to be a tribute to her, to her work, to our friendship. A tribute to the change we wanted to see. The hikes and ceremonies we did together in Nature. And also just a tribute to how much she inspired me, cheered me on and never thought anything I came up with was a shitty idea. ;) 

Are all of these interviews perfect, no. Not in the polished sense, but they did move me - every single one of the people who came on inspire me. They have something to say and a strong voice for change. 

The wonderful guests I will be hosting will inspire and motivate you in encouraging ways to live more sustainably, connected to the Earth beneath your feet!

They will show you what choices you can make in your own life to leave a gentle footprint on the planet. 

Honoringour homes, the body and Earth. 

Honoringthe wisdom of both. 

Celebrating the options we have to live more sustainable lives. 

They will do the same for you; I guarantee it. 

You’ll learn about actions you can take in your own lives to live more sustainably in the nature of your body and the nature around you. You will begin to feel clear around why this is important.

In Becoming Nature, I feed the ‘what we can do’and not just the horror stories. 

The inspiration may be born from urgency and the pain that we inflict on ourselves and the earth, but I don’t want to create panic. I want to call out the wisdom, knowledge and hope for the power we hold in our choices. 

The people I interview … their work is so important and there is a hunger for it within this community that you are apart of.

Guests will include Callie from Alone season 3, Clare Dubois; the founder of TreeSisters, Stephen Jenkinson, A plastic Planet, Easky Britton, Luke from the Holistic Survival School and more. They are an inspiration, and through their words they will impart wisdom to you on Becoming Nature.

I can’t wait for you to join me on this thrilling new podcast adventure.

My first episode 'Turning off the Plastic Tap', will be airing on August 25th via iTunes.

Stay tuned and follow the blog, Instagram or Facebook to listen in... 

Come Spring and Self-Sufficient Success. (Copy)

Last year I tried this thing on going *big* with the blogging. I think I took a dive into it with an off-start point, as I don’t enjoy writing advice and how-tos. I like writing about life, not so much to inspire the masses, but as happens to many I know, things process in a different way through writing, talking and sharing. 

One of the reasons why I enjoy circle work so much, is because things process differently in a setting like that. Where we aren’t there to deliver, put up a show, or put on a mask; it’s a different way of relating to self and others. 

So sitting down here at the computer, I am relating to this in a new way. Many have asked why I don’t blog about life here in the forest. Or show what we do and choices we’ve made. It never really stuck with me … why would that be interesting? However over the past few months I have begun to feel a desire to share a bit more. Realizing, I guess, that we are doing a lot of cool things here. 

My beautiful sister has been my communications woman for a month and she also got the inspiration stirring. So here we go. Attempt number 14 to find a way of creating a blog presence that feels creative and interesting to write. 

Spring here has been a tease for a few weeks. Are you coming? Nope not yet. Patience, people of the north. And there has been a weird energy in the people around me, and myself included, of wanting to get things rolling, and still not feeling fully capable to gain momentum. I’ve felt a long take off ramp is ready and yet my body hasn’t been willing to unfold in the pace that I’ve set things up for. 

Sorting seeds and checking in with the ones I harvested and fermented last year. 

But this weekend it was as if it finally clicked into place and we put on warm clothes and fled into the garden. We got the seeds out, trying to plan what we would like to grow this year. And more importantly, where. 

One of the biggest lessons has been - PLAN - and be realistic in our ambitions. I once was told that after 5 years of getting this self-sufficient lifestyle going, you will have made enough mistakes to begin a route to success. It feels like we may need a little more…

I have a good feeling about this year and our harvest adventure. 

This is what our first real spring garden looks like - mud and more mud. We got most of the early veg ready and have it in a warm(er) space and hopefully we will begin to see little green heads popping out of there soon. 

We’ve had success with onions, potatoes, zucchini, strawberries, cucumber, tomatoes, lettuce, herbs, peppers, garlic, rocket and beans. So this is where we are starting. Hoping to add some cabbages, squash, pumpkin and leeks this year. Cross your fingers. :)

Our idea is that guests at the *Forest Retreat House* can enjoy going out and fetching greens for their dinner. I will write about this space soon. It's an adventure for sure!!! 

Love
Carina

Simple Pleasures vol. 1 (Copy)

Simple pleasures, but why not aim for the big mind-blowing out of this world experiences. I like simple. I find joy in the small(er) things, as they bring me to where I already am. What is right here. What can be enjoyed, seen and felt here. It's not hunting sensation or avoiding pain, it is waking up to the pleasure of life.

When I was at several anxiety attacks a day, keeping myself indoors, afraid of living because it felt too painful - one of the things that supported the transition into feeling alive again was opening up to the "little" things. A nice shower, a song I fell in love with, a kiss, a hug, a good laugh, the sun, silence, sounds.

Funny thing is, I haven't felt the need to move away from those things, they are what life is to me. Simple pleasures happen everyday, and they make me feel full, content. Big bursts of special occasions are cool, but not what I live for. They do not make my daily life rich.

So for inspiration I will be sharing a simple pleasures series on the blog, and welcome to vol. 1. Grab what resonates or use the direction to open up to the things in your life.

Here we go.

Moving to the tunes...

I have fallen in love with a young woman from Tennessee. Valerie Junemakes me wanna move, fills my body with ease, touches something deep inside. Music has always done crazy things to me, and I love to dance. This week this song has done the trick. Enjoy.

For fun...

David Lynch Weekend

A lonesome evening, when the kids were finally asleep and I found myself bored - I ran through Instagram and found the funniest # ever. I laughed till I cried which can be weird when you are on your own.

It is #whymysoniscrying

Now the funny thing is not the photos of crying children.

What makes it so funny are the reasons they are crying. The situations where you as a parent feel you have dropped into the closing scene of a David Lynch movie - What, why, where, I don't get it (still have no clue what Lost Highway was about).

Like when you give your kids the snack they specifically asked for, but placed the plate an inch in the wrong direction and it is mayhem for about 15 mins. Or you walked into a room, not knowing it was going to ruin their day. Or you breath too close to them etc. It is funny because, thankfully you realize you are not alone, and that the frustration seems to be universal.

If you need a laugh check out that hashtag on instagram.

For stillness...

Sitting outside...

...closing your eyes and feeling the air and wind against your face. Sensing the crispness of winter. We don't have to make it formal and call it mediation, or set ourselves up to all sorts of things. Just that moment when you allow yourself a moment of stillness, to just be. Letting your body sink a little deeper to where you are. Knowing that space has nothing to do with time. It can be for one in breath or 100. How does it feel.

Stillness simpel pleasures

Episode #21 with Nichole Kellerman (Copy)

get moving

Today we are getting moving with Nichole Kellerman Wurth. She just got back from Africa and guests us to share her wisdom about women's health, moving, and why it's important to look at diet and food in a different way.

Nichole wants to live in a world where women actually enjoy the process of losing weight + connecting with their bodies.

As a weight loss coach, she’s been featured on major websites like The Well Grounded Life, Your Great Life TV and The Greatist.

When she’s not fearlessly (but lovingly) pushing her clients into a lifestyle they dream of, you can find her laughing with friends, connecting with nature and loving up on her husband and two dogs.

Her business Wildly Alive Weight Loss is for women who want to stop dieting, re-frame their minds so they can reshape their bodies. Her teachings are like nothing you’ve ever heard.

Discover how you can lose weight by feeling #WildlyAlive at WildlyAliveWeightLoss.com.

We have gone crazy (Copy)

Mouse

My clients always tell me how frustrating it is that their thoughts are ruining their attempt to meditate. Thoughts make so much noise that it blocks the inner peace they set out to feel.

I'll get back to that...

Well, us city people are feeling the sweetness of country living in a, well lets put it lightly, challenging way… We have mice EVERYWHERE.

The first day, we tore the house apart stuffing holes, cleaning, pulling our hair and finally collapsing in the middle of chaos trying to find energy for the clean-up…

Really happy and satisfied with round 1 of the war against mice - we went to bed. We woke up and there was MORE mouse droppings all over the house - say what? How did this happen.

We discussed the same procedure as yesterday neither of us had the energy. We discussed moving - seemed like less of a deal then the clean up. And setting the house on fire was up for a while too.

The kids looked scared, so we went with cleaning. And the past week has continued in this fun little dance. My partner wakes up looking manic and angry. I have gone into everything is so weird it’s funny, which is calming no one.

Last night the little pain was back again. The kids are finally (jinxed?) sleeping through the night, but last night our ol' pal Mr. mouse sounded like he was rearranging walls... So there I was banging on things at 3am in the morning. Couldn't find my glasses, so with a lack of visual I was making random noises with no clear plan and talking in tongue to myself.

It dawned on me in all the madness, as we were working ourselves up to crazy, it is the same way with thoughts.

We fight them like mouse-busting. The more they stay, increase and drop(ping) in our mind, the more frustrated and desperate we get. So I get that the mouse has to stay out of the kitchen, but I don’t want them gone off the face of the earth. I feel they are gross in my food, but cute when I see them jumping around outside.

As with thoughts they have the right to be here, they have a function and aren’t the enemy. They do however have a place, and nor the whole picture or defining factor about how you feel about your "house".

So how do you relate to your thoughts? Do they overwhelm you? Do you feel you have to run with or after every thought that floats by?

I believe that there is such freedom in allowing our thoughts to come and go, and not feeling that we need to tend and kill every single one.

Episode #17 with Patricia Mauerhofer (Copy)

Mind Body and Business with Patricia Mauerhofer

Today's guest is a wise woman who guests us to share your passion and knowledge mind body and business.

Mind-Body Success Mentor, Patricia Mauerhofer empowers women in business to making money and making a difference without harming their own health or sacrificing close relationships.

A certified project manager and professional coach, she is living her purpose and empowering others to find theirs. As a practicing Buddhist, she is mindful to talk her walk. Part of her mission is to spill over the happiness and joy she found within during many years of a debilitating disease and after healing herself in 2011 from this 'incurable' condition.

Patricia is guiding, coaching and teaching women who want to step into their power and live their best life in English, German, Swiss German and French.

Patricia's Website: http://patriciamauerhofer.com/

Connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/patriciamauerhofer.mindbodysuccess

Episode #15 with Ellen Nightingale (Copy)

ellennightin

Ellen and I share a favorite quote. I knew as soon as I saw here website that I had to interview this woman.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” 

~Maya Angelou

She works with moms to support communication skills and attachment skills. She works with moms who have children with special needs, and focuses on helping her clients find their voices and tell their stories.

Ellen Nightingale is a speech-language pathologist, coach, and writer. She currently leads workshops and retreats for moms to help them find their voices and tell their stories.

She stopped by to talk about speaking our truth, the importance of story and motherhood.

Check her out here:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Join me for this free tele class

Mindful Woman

I will share 3 tips to support you to begin and create a sustainable meditation practice in your life, without increasing stress in your life. If you can't join live, no worries, a recording will be sent within 24 hours, to everyone who signs up.

You can do this. You aren’t doing it wrong. We will look at how to simplify to create a sustainable path for you.

Sign up here

Email Address

First Name

a tribute to: sleeping children (Copy)

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote:

"I have arrived, I am home" is the shortest Dharma Talk I have ever given. "I have arrived, I am home" means "I don't want to run anymore." You need that insight in order to be truly established in the here and now, and to embrace life with all its wonders.

mindfulness in eberyday life

What a powerful sentence. For me it has always been a balance. I like running... well I like being driven, I like the passionate and excited side of me. I like the part of me that creates ideas for every step I take. What I have learned through the years of practice and training is to notice when that isn't serving me, when I no longer fills me up, but is draining me instead. And also learned to see that all that running robs me of the things that really creates a deep connection in my life.

It is so valuable to check and see in the moment what life is. In everyday life what gives me joy, happiness, a sense of belonging and depth aren't things like winning the lottery or running fast - it is the simple things.

Like last night, my oldest was asleep and I went in to tuck her in again. I stopped and looked at her, and she looked so big, yet still with her little baby face. She was so peaceful and cute. I was filled with love and gratitude. It brought me home. I didn't need to run to feel love, I didn't need to run to feel purpose, it was right there in that moment.

Moments like those pop up every day. They're not big sensational moments that will be written down in history. But shit they're valuable. It can be a good laugh, a moment when everyone at the table just shuts up and we are there together no strings attached. It can be that brief touch that let's you know you have been seen. The smell of the crisp Fall air. It is random smiles on the street. It's sitting on a chair by your house enjoying the sunset or dinner with close friends.

We don't need to run.

Connect In Thursday: B R E A T H E (Copy)

Self-compassion breathe

We are moves, doers and driven women. We want to do things right. Often with meditation or yoga that "doing it right" enters how our practice, it could be we feel the longer the better, sitting right, getting the poses 100% like our teacher. The sense of what works for us, can fade a little.

Longer can be good, but it isn’t the only way to be mindful, to connect in. During a busy day, serving others less can still be so much.

[Tweet "During a busy day serving others, connecting inward can do so much. Take 3 deep breaths. #mindful #connectinthursday #breath""]

Take 3 deep breathes. Bring more attention to the out-breath. Letting go of the air. This is an invitation to let be. Allowing for these 3 breaths, the thoughts, sounds, feelings, to dos take care of themselves. Connecting to where you are, the body, to right here rather than there (the future, the other person, the past, the to dos yet to come).

What happens during those 3 breaths?

Episode #7 Pleasure with Lesley Stedmon (Copy)

Self-compassion podcast woman

Do you miss pleasure in your life?

Today's show is a great and important one. Our guest today is bringing pleasure back, not as a luxury but as a part of everyday life. I love it.

Lesley Stedmon believes that pleasure is non-negotiable. She wants to live in a world where busy women take the time to make pleasure a priority. Merging her experience as a Registered Nurse and Certified Sexual Health Educator.

Lesley created a movement called The Sensual Sisterhood; a growing community of women who desire to experience the most sensual version of themselves.

Through 1:1 coaching, online workshops, client intensives and destination retreats, Lesley has consistently created a sacred and safe space for hundreds of women to reclaim their desire, embody their truth and own their strong, sacred, sensual selves.

You can find out more about Lesley and The Sensual Sisterhood at www.thesensualsisterhood.com

Connect in Thursday: The Body (Copy)

Connecting to the body

Take a moment to pay attention to how your body feels right now. If it supports you close your eyes.

Why it that so important? It all goes down in the body. How we sense the world. The body is fluid experience and such a great way into to showing up where you are. It isn't a thing. We know the parts it has, but the experience of body and be so diverse, intense, numb and can bring such richness to life.

What is your experience of body right now?

Maybe you need water, food. If you feel relaxed how does that feel? If there is tension in the body, how do you relate to that? Whatever you sense, give yourself a moment to meet that with curiosity.

Share your thoughts with us on the Facebook page

Episode #6 with Casey Erin Wood (Copy)

Casey erin wood

I was curious about what authentic brilliance is, and invited Casey on the show to tell her story and why she feels Authentic brilliance is something we all have.

Casey Erin Wood has a simple philosophy: the universe is speaking to us, we should listen.

As a writer, speaker and coach she has dedicated her life to helping women own what she calls their

Authentic Brilliance

, the quality of clarity and confidence that allows you to walk into a room and transform people through your sheer presence.  She believes we each possess this unique essence and that we are on this planet to share it.

One client shared, “I want more of what she's got - motivation, inspiration, excitement, brain waves, illumination and vision.", while another declared, “Casey is your go-to gal if you're looking to shine even brighter in the world."  And another simply said, “She brought me home”.

When she’s not empowering women to own their Authentic Brilliance you can find her nibbling dark chocolate, having dance parties with her daughter or rocking tree pose on her dock.

In this episode we talked about: 

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 why connection the body is important

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how to access your authentic brilliance

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 what that means

The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how your surrounding and sisterhood support you

You can check out Casey’s new group program here, it’s all about deepening your connection with your intuition!

Connect in Thursday: Look up and around (Copy)

Look up - the self-compassion

On this fine Thursday I would like you to look up. We can get so focused on where we are going, what we need to get done, that we miss little moments of beauty right in the middle of the familiar and ordinary. Curiosity is such a catalyst for adventure and that muscle may need some exercise, flexing and stretching. A simple practice like this can be a good way to start.

Today's practice: Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are?

Beginning to open up with curiosity, with presence where you are, to experience in a more intimate way is more simple than you may think. Even if looking up takes you to the grey ceiling in the office. What you do you notice?

Share it with your friends.

[Tweet "Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are? #connectinthursday @carinalyall"]

Thursday is connect in day on the blog. I offer a short, free practice or reflection to support you to connect to yourself and others with more presence, self-compassion and care. This is a little nugget of inspiration for you. Allow it move through you, and be open to what it may bring. Stay tuned here on the blog every Thursday.

xo Carina

a tribute to LOVE (Copy)

9 years ago I met the man, it would turn out, who changed me. Tuesday is photo day on the blog showing glimpses of me life, practice and journey. Today is a tribute to the man, the love and the life I have shared with my blonde Scandinavian (who I first thought must be boring - how wrong I was). <3

#1 Before the kids. We look so well rested.

Love life and partnership

#2 Now expecting child #1. I am sure I said something REALLY funny. Still look very well rested.

9 years together.

#3 Ok now way past birth of first child and SO hard to find a picture we're both in . Such a bad photo, but HA! at least the wee one looks pretty fly! The second child is on the way.

roadtrip

#4 Things like this now dominate our camera...

IMG_0299

#5 and this my phone...

IMG_2314

#6 But once in a while we still get time to get away and enjoy each other's company.

Parents weekend out

#7 And here's to the next 9 years my love <3 (not knowing why it looks like you have fangs...)

to the next 6 years.

the tributes to TRIBUTES (Copy)

I have been playing around for a while. With what you may ask... Well, with how to get my writing going for real, what I enjoy writing about and how the hell to get started on that. Apart from procrastination, nothing has been stopping me really. So here we go, diving into the fun part of writing - running with it. The way I want to do it.

One thing I love writing is a Tribute. I love that angle and giving a hear hear to the oddness of life, to the things that make us whole, to what connects us as people and the things that make us laugh.

For me it is often the subtleties of life. I love describing a brief meet between people, a thought that came and went, a feeling so strong it couldn't be shaken off...

...and the experience of all of the above. I have tried the "how to posts", and steps and letting people in on how to do this and that. And truly I believe that the best support I could ever give anyone, was the space to allow them to listen to themselves - so I stopped doing those posts.

The next writing stream will be a series of tributes. Tributes to life. The things that make it glow and the parts that teach the most profound lessons. It will be tributes to white walls and curve balls, tributes to sleep and the people who actually get some of it. And we will see what it evolves into.

It will be shining a light on common humanity and what allows us to belong here as we are.

I am pretty excited about it, because at last I feel that writers block has lifted and I have something to say. I hope you stay tuned.

On my nightstand... it's overloaded (Copy)

When people post lists or pictures of the books they love or are reading at the moment, I always feel inspired... my fingers type in the url for my favorite online book store and really it all happens so fast, my brain doesn't really understand the chain of events until the confirmation email lands in my inbox. I love books. I see my partner's eyes glaze over every time another brown parcel is stuffed into the mailbox, "Do  you really read all of them, I never see you finish one"... he dares to share. Really I feel he shouldn't have any say, as he might be the last person on the planet who still buys 20 cd's a month.

Anyway, here is what I have my nose buried in right now. Of course due to work I buy a lot of book about meditation, inner work, women and story work. But at times it just becomes too much and I have to mix it up and read other kinds of literature.

So as inspiration, and clearly I don't only have 1 book going at once, this is what's on my nightstand at the moment...

Books I love...

I placed Karl right in the middle, as I am sure he would appreciate it that company...

The perfect, imperfect poem (Copy)

Maybe we just misunderstand what it says - I'm-perfect... :)

All I want to do today is share a poem about the icky and sticky subject of imperfection.  It is such a lovely poem and I feel it resonating with  A LOT in my life. Do you?

IMPERFECTION

I am falling in love with my imperfections The way I never get the sink really clean, forget to check my oil, lose my car in parking lots, miss appointments I have written down, am just a little late.

I am learning to love the small bumps on my face the big bump of my nose, my hairless scalp, chipped nail polish, toes that overlap.

Learning to love the open-ended  mystery of not knowing why

I am learning to fail to make lists, use my time wisely, read the books I should.

Instead I practice inconsistency, irrationality, forgetfulness.

Probably I should hang my clothes neatly in the closet all the shirts together, then the pants, send Christmas cards, or better yet a letter telling of my perfect family.

But I’d rather waste time listening to the rain, or lying underneath my cat learning to purr.

I used to fill every moment with something I could cross off later.

Perfect was the laundry done and folded all my papers graded the whole truth and nothing but

Now the empty mind is what I seek the formless shape the strange  off center sometimes fictional me.

Elizabeth Carlson

Hey fatso... you are looking good (Copy)

1481457389_86532082cb_b

Well I guess this a more iffy subject for me. So I will dive into it a little gently.

The foundation of my work is that you belong here exactly as you are. There is no perfect ideal to strive for. You have an enormous amount of wisdom in you and maybe it takes slowing down to listen to that. I wish that this could be the way we all step into our lives. This is not to say that we can't shift, unfold, evolve. I am exploring the starting point and the tendency to feel wrong, to feel that we only deserve a place when we fit and mold ourselves into a certain standard - however we define what that looks like.

I know that for me not owning that statement has been exhausting. In motherhood I read books, looked at women who wizzed through the challenging parts and I felt like a constant failure. The art of comparison once again left me feeling less worthy. The foundation of being wrong or less than, isn't a nice place to be and very very seldom leads to a life with happiness and ease.

I will be digging deeper into that statement in further posts... for now a story of how I was challenged recently.

I was out for drinks with my two sisters. We had a great time and we decided to end the good times with a burger. Now it is no secret that I have put on weight after the 2 pregnancies and what not, but burger it was - YOLO or something.

In the cue some guys felt that we had cut in line, and looked at me and said that I probably shouldn't be in there anyway considering my weight. Well tears galore and I felt shitty. Reduced to an unworthy lump of Blubber (did you every read Judy Blume's book? It's awesome... anyway).

Fastforward 2 weeks and my man and I are away for the weekend for a music festival. As I am coming out of the toilet area a woman stops me. She is a scout for a model agency and thinks I would be an awesome model for the normal size/curve department... huh...

So which "truth" do I go with? A third - my own? How I see myself? How I feel about myself? Or do I let either of their perspectives rule and dictate wether I feel worthy just as I am? Do I wait till I have xx weight to go out again or do I pout my lips and work it like a supermodel? The "you belong here, exactly as you are" reminds me that none of the above is my truth. It is their eyes looking at me. What matters is how I look at me. And this has been such an awesome reminder.

This is what we can work on - how you see you. And knowing that you belong here, you already are. <3