The blog 2-0

How I Show Up In My Life And Keep Grounded

Guest post by Rosie Slosek

I've always been a passionate live wire, it's part of who I am. I love having energy, ambition and enthusiasm. It's also important to be calm and relaxed, and that's why being grounded matters so much to me. It helps me gets done what needs to happen for what's important.

This is how I prioritise it in my life.

 

Daily I have this voice in my head about what I should be like as a woman. I expect you know what I'm talking about. That voice gets a severe talking to several times a day and slowly it is being evicted from my head. I also have lots of little luxuries to nurture my sense of self. A cup of tea, a square of chocolate, a short walk, five minutes online window shopping. It re-centres me and reminds me who I am, my goals, and to stay on track.

Weekly  Every week I have an artist date (from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron). I go to a local coffee shop and enjoy uninterrupted time to pause, relax, or write. Sometimes it's about my business, sometimes it isn't. It's whatever I need that day. I'm writing this on an artist date with a cup of tea by my side.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Artists-Way-Discovering-Recovering/dp/0330343580/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389652357&sr=8-1&keywords=julia+cameron

My other weekly ritual is yoga in the church hall. The teacher encourages, supports, and tucks a blanket over you if it's cold. It's such gentle exercise using every muscle in a relaxing way, and it's calming for my mind.

Monthly I go to heart-centred networking events at least once a month. Each meeting is an opportunity to re-evaluate and recommit to my goals. Heart-centred networking is the kind where you can relax, be yourself, and no-one will save you warm white wine or shove a business card in your face and then walk off. Meetup.com is a great site to find events and they don't need to be business orientated. They've made a real difference to me given my tendency to isolate myself. http://www.meetup.com/

Online Community My online community buddies are the best. They support and encourage me, they share my content, comment on my blog posts, share joys and disappointments, and I know someone is always there to help. It'a a good balance to the negativity in my head that's easy to get hung up on. It's very grounding.

There are lots of communities online and I often do e-courses for the people. Courses from Dexterous Diva, The Freelance Lifestyle and Rosalilium been such a help to me. We do the contact together and it's made a measurable difference to me personally and my bottom line.

http://dexterousdiva.co.uk/

http://www.emmacossey.com/

http://www.rosalilium.com/

Showing up in my life means being present in the moment and appreciating life through the ups, downs, joys and mundane. When I'm grounded daily, weekly, monthly and through community. I am more available to my partner and loved ones and what really matters in my life.

It's so invigorating being around such inspiring women in my life, and community is what keeps us all going forward.

Here's to us! Share in the comments what helps keep you grounded to what matters in your life.

Rigtig godt klaret af os! Del gerne dine erfaringer i en kommentar!

Riktigt bra jobbat av oss! Dela med dig av dina erfarenheter i kommentarerna! [Swedish]

Riktig godt jobbet! Del gjerne dine erfaringer i kommentarfeltet! [Norwegian]

Hyvin tehty! Jätä kommentti ja kerro sinun omista kokemuksista. [Finnish]

 

About Rosie rosieblogRosie Slosek is a money expert who lives and works in London. She specialises in offering money management and tax return support to freelancers and one person businesses.

Rosie sends a brownie to every client.

http://onemanbandaccounting.co.uk/

https://twitter.com/1ManBandAccts

https://www.facebook.com/onemanbandaccounting

From Hidden to Seen - My Struggle with Keeping Myself Small

Guest Post by Daisy Hernandez

"Life is but a dream, said someone once. And I truly believe it. Like a dream, it can end abruptly and all you're left with are the experiences lived." - dh

From Hidden to Seen - My Struggle with Keeping Myself Small

I was once on the other side of that quote. I was on the side of life being somewhat of a nightmare; I had somehow become a bit of a cynic between my teen years and late twenties. But you wouldn't have guessed it by simply looking at me or even talking to me, I've always been somewhat of a 'ray of sunshine'. But when I felt blue, everything I looked at was blue and that ray became but a glimmer.

Instead of lifting myself up, I'd put myself back down. There was a sense of comfort being there, so I stayed there. Plus the company I would keep was no help in changing that, on the contrary.

I got a point where I wanted something different and when depression crossed my mind, I went looking for a counsellor. His words forever changed my world. He said: "You're too much of a giver. And you need to give to yourself first, before you can give to others." Strange, right? In my world it was.

Freedom

Being Latina, there's a level of respect you must give to elders, a sense of submission to men, and a level of service to everyone else. As women, no matter the family that raised you, this becomes part of your culture and therefore, you.

Though I've always been feisty, trying to abide by such rules was near impossible. Not because I wanted to be disrespectful, but because I felt that any level of respect must be earned, submission should be a choice not a given, and service...well, that I could stand by.

Having been brought up in two different cultures (first years in Latin America, later years in the Great White North), you can guess the confusion inside of me. What I felt I should do vs what I was told to do because of a cultural background. All of this was rooted deep within me without me understanding it fully, it wasn't at a conscious level. But the uneasy feeling was very much there.

My counsellor's words hit me like a bucket of freezing water. And subconsciously, it did something. I began to notice that whenever I felt blue from then on, rather than drown myself in depressive music, I'd do the opposite. I created a playlist labeled "Lift Up" and songs like "Mickey" and "The Look" became part of its repertoire. I'd cut that comfort in half and began to move into a completely different territory.

I began shifting my mindset. I somehow became stronger, I began showing my strength. I saw the many possibilities of being ME and standing up for what I wanted. It was like night and day.

Even my company took at 180 turn. I gave up my relationship with a close relative, ended my relationship with my partner, jumped on a very scary unknown way of life. A new apartment, new possibilities.

What does that have to do with giving? I was giving myself time and space to come back into myself.

I began to learn how to take care of myself, how to help myself feel my best from within and began to feel lighter. No more heavy thinking or carrying the whole world on my shoulders.

It all started with a baby step. Identifying change is possible and putting things in place to help move me forward.

And hey, there are challenging days. It's not all picture perfect, but now I know it's my choice to drown or swim.

My roots will always be a part of me but, just as you can choose what to wear every morning, you can also choose what to carry with you.

I will continue to respect others, serve others, and at times, be submissive...but it's all my choice. Not the choices others want for me.

And I think that's important, to make that distinction between following versus considering.

There's no way I could have ever imagined jumping into an entrepreneurial role, helping other women embrace their uniqueness and guide them toward a lighter way of life that supports their "over the top" goals, with the comfort level I had in keeping myself hidden from the world.

My challenge to you is to identify a baby step you can start taking NOW to move you toward the stronger you that's been hidden.

About Daisy

Daisy HernandezDaisy Hernandez is the creator of Pura Chica Natural, a digital resource dedicated to empowering long-term change by shifting into a cleaner, stronger, more powerful version of yourself - naturally! She offers personal 1:1 sessions in both English & Spanish, self-paced programs such as the Challenge Your Cravings ecourse, and full, fun-loving support to help make that shift happen.

Connect with her on Facebook (Facebook.com/PuraChicaNatural), Twitter (twitter.com/purachicantrl), Instagram (instagram.com/daisyhdez), YouTube (youtube.com/user/PuraChicaNaturalTV)

Cheers to Fear: A Powerful Life Lesson Happy Women Can’t Live Without

Guest Post by Elspeth Misiaszek

On January 6, 2011 my business partner called me into his office. He looked me right in the eye and said, “I need to go at this solo.”

Right there on the spot, like I was garbage being thrown to the street, he fired me.

My entire body went completely still. A wave of angst and … absolute calm? … washed over me.

Like a flash, all the years of late nights, hundreds of handshakes, thousands of phone calls, and blisters from long days door-knocking zipped right through me. I felt something I’d never, ever imagined I could feel.

I felt grateful. When I joined the company, it was a start-up corporation. I left my job, started dating this man whom I truly believed in, and gave myself, heart and soul, to his lifelong dream of business ownership.

But there was a problem. He simply wasn’t as smart as my naïve rosy glasses made him out to be. He’d miscalculated how much money he’d need for overhead; there wasn’t a dime left over for my salary.

What should have been my leap of faith into a life of entrepreneurial independence quickly turned into a test of loyalty. I’d resigned from my job and moved in with him, leaving behind my old life. There was nothing to go back to.

After a few years, when we ended our relationship, we agreed that I had accrued sweat-equity in the business equivalent to my unpaid wages. He was able to fire me (he was the majority partner regardless) thanks to my own absolute stupidity; I hadn’t gotten our agreement in writing.

It was his loss, as well, to feel he could go at it solo. I earned the business from 50% to 60% of its gross sales, over $120,000 my third year. I was the face of the company, showing up at every local event possible. All of the biggest residual clients were thanks to my follow-through.

But I was also a fool. Because in the end, there was really only one thing that held me back. A thing that every single one of us lives with. A thing so deep and so dark most of us would rather ignore it than admit it’s there.

In the end, I blame my fear for keeping me by his side. For three years, it blinded me from moving powerfully forward into my own success, even as his personal flaws were amplified by a business spotlight.

But in one sentence, in one swift action, his choice changed it all for me. I was free of him, free of the needy business baby, and free to find what was next for me.

eMarketing Copywriter was born in 2011. I have always been a writer, but, truthfully, I exceled at sales as well. My skill set in small business has allowed me to quadruple my income from year one to year three.

And you know what? I am still humbled every single day to get to do what I love. The message I have for every single woman entrepreneur I meet is a simple one:

Chears to fear

Embrace your fear. Take all of your negative energy, sad days, and bad vibes, and transition them into something positive. If you feel angry at a colleague, turn your anger into a business lesson. When an employee lets you down, switch it over to a reflection on your management style.

Most of all, cry when you need to. Let yourself sob like a child while you acknowledge that it’s only pure, natural fear lurking somewhere deep. After all, the fear might make you pause for a minute, or redden your eyes for the night, but you sure as hell should never, ever let it stop you.

And while it may not be entirely relevant, I’m sure you’ll want a synopsis of how he’s doing since my life moved on. In March of 2011, my COBRA health insurance policy was canceled due to lack of payment on his part.

In 2012, I sued him for back wages … and won. He continued to pay me a decent little court appointed sum every month for over a year. The payments were consistently ‘in the mail’ almost a month late.

When a business colleague called me a few weeks ago, she said she hadn’t seen him in almost three years.  In fact, she didn’t even know what had become of him or his business. Nor, added my powerful, wonderful, amazing executive friend, did she care. I feel exactly the same way.

Too busy to draft your own content? Hire a ghostwriter.

http://www.emarketingcopywriter.comAbout Elspeth Elspeth Misiaszek uses her writing and online marketing skills to help vegan businesses, coaches and entrepreneurs increase sales on their websites and blogs. Email today for a free consultation. Check out Elspeth's website here http://www.emarketingcopywriter.com/

What the hell is she doing anyway?

I have to face the fact that I am a talker. I have serious issues at times with getting clear. I have a mentor that always "suggests" a less broad language... hmmm well ok, I am working on it. Some might say it's bad for business, or how will people know what to come to you for IF YOUR'RE NOT CLEAR??? And as always with this blog challenge I am doing, I am asked to get crystal clear... The blog challenge Day 10 is:

Which are the key online revenue streams you want to focus on in your existing business?

So basically "What are doing with the your life and business Carina?" Sometimes I find it hard, because in the field I am in, there is no ONE or RIGHT way. I work with life, and that happens is all sorts of ways. I draw on my experience with meditation, mindfulness, yoga specialized in women's body and energy and sometime fall short in how put that into a few bullets...

I know what's important to me though. And that's that people feel connected, worthy, happy, and that they feel that they belong - because everyone deserves that in their life. I want people to own their stories without being caught up in the drama of it, finding peace and ease in everyday life. 

As to how I want to bring this to life in offerings and ways to connect is:

  • through one on one programs. These are for the people who are so ready to commit that they feel it in their bones. I love these connections because it is a safe place.
  • through the Free Blog Challenge. A way for people not ready to take the big leap, to try out the idea of letting go of a life ruled by stress, auto-pilot, worry and unhappiness.
  • through retreats that give people some intense time to look within, relax, meditate and take a break from everyday life, to see it in a clearer light.

And a few other cool things that I am cooking up...

I may not always be clear in my sales pitches and pages, but I am so clear on my vision and WHY I do this work in the first place.

Without any spiritual dogma, and keeping both feet on the ground I want YOU to feel compassion, connection and care for yourself!

Sending these some love

Sometimes you just stumble across people that inspire you. And sometimes you just forget to tell them that that's what they do - inspire. So this is the month of challenges (in many ways) and we have come to day 9 i Natalie's blog challenge. They question today is:

Whose online business do you admire most and why?

I have to go 3-fold today. There are too many people I admire to cook it down to 1. I have never been good at "would you rather die by shark attack or fall off a cliff" and the "You HAAAAAVE to chose" kind of games... So not going to limit myself this time either.

1. Is Joanna Lindenbaum from Soulfulcoach.com

She is such a talented woman and always spot on. Her way of getting so close and personal even though she works 98% online amazes me. She brings her heart to what she does and it oooozes through the internet. When I grow up I want to be like her.

2. Is Caroline Cain from carolinecain.com

She is just so down to earth and really REALLY knows how to speak so you understand on a mental and visceral level. I could listen to her forever, and makes living healthy and happy sound like something that is possible, without changing everything about yourself... bonus.

3. Is Sarah Avant Stover from saraavantstover.com

I have never met her, but I adore how she brings women together via her online community. Important work and really something that more women need to engage in. When we go on our around the world trip next year, I might just have to ask her to drink coffee with me. :)

Besides those 3, I also have to send some online love to Natalie - she just helps so many people do what they love smarter.

<3

Anxiety got me started!

 

Ahh Day 7 - This blog challenge really doesn't feel like a challenge. Which is awesome - big thanks to Ms. Sisson. Today's question is great - just up my alley.

Which key tools will you turn to regularly to maintain your mindset and how will you use them effectively?

For years I delt with anxiety. Panic attacks, a constant sense of nervousness in my body, scared of being scared ruled my life. I isolated myself more and more, just from feeling so tired and not knowing how to face people anymore.

Carina Lyall MeditationMy way through those years became my meditation practice. I wasn't enlightened or fell in love with a guru. I just sensed tiny shifts for every time a sat and closed my eyes and let go of control. It wasn't always peace and ease - but more about handling what arose.

I became less scared and reactive, but learned to respond with more clarity. I began to see I had a choice. No matter how I felt, I was in control of the next step.

As for my mindset anxiety has become my "warning signal". I haven't had a full blown attack in years, but when a certain feeling creeps up I know it well, I know that this is when to slow down, take better care of my self, and allow myself to be vulnerable.

Easy - no, necessary - Yes.

Meditation and presence isn't only what happens on a cushion somewhere quiet. I bring it with me. It is how I move through life. It is compassion, care, curiosity, it is being connected to how I feel.

I am still me, I still have triggers and less flattering sides at times, but I am so much more aware of how they effect me, and stop a lot sooner then I did before. It is just so much easier to deal with when I am not on never ending auto-pilot.

So what supports me in business and life (and hey isn't it all just life??) is my meditation practice.

Perfection is feeding chickens...

   

So I thought I would skip Day 5 of the blog challenge, but then something perfect happened, and I had to go back to this challenge.

The question for Day 5 was: What’s does your perfect day look like?

I have written this down for every single business program I have attended. All good fun, but sometimes it just feels so far away. Maybe mostly because I have tended to think it had to be really different from my life as it is. Those perfect days are great, but I want to remember that the process is just so much more important. That's why I do what I do - to live my life as it is happening.

Being self-employed can be challenging, I  often loose sight, get into a panic when we are low on cash, sit up too long at nights and do everything that all the really rich business people tell you not to do.  My website isn't perfect, I don't have really expensive pictures and badges. I procrastinate and drink too much coffee. I mess up and say I'm sorry a lot.

Mindful life

I meditate and look at the guilt I feed myself and compassion is a part of it. So do I strive for perfection or see perfection in what is. The other day it became SO clear.

Last Thursday I decided to keep my oldest daughter home from daycare. My partner had done a night shift and was sleeping. On impulse me and the two girls hopped on the bike and went for a little ride. We ended up in a little haven in the middle of Copenhagen. A little area with farm animals.

We were invited in to feed the chickens and pet the rabbits. We ate apples and had a chat with a 94 year old man. We ended up having the time of our lives.

I was behind on work, reading, napping but in those few hours my day was perfect. Just what I want - freedom, happy children, time to enjoy the little things, and the ability to let go.

In the back of my mind Lou Reed was singing "Just a perfect day"... minus images from the movie Trainspotting...

What is does your perfect day look like? 

Homeless or independent?

Ahhh Day 4 of the Blog challenge. I am warming up, getting into writing again - which is so much fun. The feel of getting clear and focused is great. Little by little the post are making more sense... to me. :) So today's question from Ms. Natalie S. is: What is your definition of location independence?

When I first started out, I felt more homeless than independent. I worked/work at home for the most part, besides when I teach meditation classes. Which is great, but can create a little trouble in really getting clear on the difference between WORK HOURS and FAMILY/RELAXATION TIME. Do you know the feeling?

Home office with kids. :)

(I work at home with a little more advanced hardware...)

Instead of me going to work and coming home, my family sort of comes home and invades my work space. And that just isn't fair to them or me. So not having an office created a little stress for everyone in the house. I have gone to cafés etc. but couldn't get into a real flow there. So I have roamed the streets with my laptop seeking, and not working...

It has been my excuse for why I haven't been totally focused and why my business has taken a while to really get moving. UNTIL I met Natalie, and not having a base to work from really couldn't be the excuse anymore.

It draws back to the last few posts about freedom. I have clients where I go to their house, I teach group classes at a beautiful venue, I do 1:1s a third place, and do admin work at home or where ever I can find a quiet spot.

Now, instead of feeling homeless, I like to think of it as having many "homes". Being connected and spreading my wings all over town. Using the various spots for the different purposes that are called for there. It all gives me room to change, evolve, create without having to deal with the admin of having my own office. Which I know, for me, would take even more focus from what I am really passionate about.

It's a balance and takes some ability to adapt and work with what you've got, but isn't life that way anyway?

When I used to be a puppy dog...

Blog challenge DAY 3What’s your definition of freedom in business and adventure in life?  My lovely brother used to tell amazing stories of when he was a puppy dog. We all listened and laughed, but he was always caught up in the stories like he really had been a cute little dog and oh  my the adventures!

In a lot of ways I look back at the time before a became a mommy dog, hmm grown up, hmm gave birth to two beautiful girls, with smiles and nostalgia. Missing life as it was. I remember feeling and speaking of myself as adventurous and interesting. Life just flowed in whatever way we, and it, wanted to.

Awakening to the fact that I am now human, with bags under my eyes and subtle smell of spit up, makes me divide adventure and now even more...

I really love my life, but I don't feel so adventurous anymore. Or I guess contemplating the question it all comes back to MY definition of what that is. Where I see lack, and where I see life and joy unfolding before me. Adventure has turned into some huge and un-reachable thing. Nothing to with responsibility, worries or domestic life.

Freedom in business is what I am doing (close to anyway - still working on the how). But freedom is in the fact that I am in charge. I can have a full day mid-week with the girls if that's what we want to do. I can sit in my PJs all day and write emails, I can work with the most inspiring clients because I chose to (and they chose me).

Within our family, work doesn't define how we live, 9-5 etc. We define the life we want and how business can be a part of that - amazing eh!?

Next year we are leaving our apartment and crossing the US and Canada. It might take 8 months, maybe 9 and we are just going to go with it. Going back to my roots and visiting my family in the reserve, feeling the wind in our hair, showing the girls that part of the world, and living our adventure as a family, with responsibility, and I guess you always worry a little as a parent.

Adventure in life is living it fully, with the circumstances you face. Going after what you dream of without being attached to the outcome. And I think I will remind myself of that from now on...

 

If I were free...

Aha, blog challenge Day 2. Was feeling all great about Day 1. And then... Day 2 challenge:

If you woke up tomorrow and were free to do anything you wanted with your life, what would you do and who would you be?

Who Knows What Tomorrow Brings?

Gulp... well freedom. I have wanted to be free most of my adult life, and then after working with several teachers, attending a bunch of retreats, and meditating for years, I find out I am already free, and then I forget it again...

But thinking of the question in mind I do have desires. After working through Danielle LaPorte's Desire course, I really feel good about desire. Something I thought, for a while, I couldn't, if I were to follow the Buddha's words. Anyway...

If I were/felt free I would be me, but happier. I would be me, but complain less. I would be me, and enjoy my family more. I would be me, but with more smiles. I would have a thriving business working with what I love. I would live life as I dream of. I would say "I am" instead of "I would be"... 

What can make me smile is remembering, that I am free to do what I want. Panic, money, sleepless hours get to me sometimes, and pushes me to look closer at my fears and worries. In times when it takes different shapes, when life throws you a challenge, I am free to relate to it in the way that I want.

For me freedom and feeling free is there more than it isn't.

Being curious and connected supports me on the journey in life, and I tend not to strive (read slave drive) myself, but remember the process of life - it is happening anyway, why not show up for it?

For me that's where freedom awaits - showing up for life, as it is happening.

Do you show up? 

Why do it at all?

I AM BACK - in english. :) So I joined the blog challenge over at the suitcase entrepreneur. And this is day 1... Today is all about why? Something that in business has been a great adventure the past 3 years. Why do I do what I do - and at other times "what the hell am I doing...?"

I started this blog back in 2011, because I wanted to share my story. I wanted to let people know how I use and practice meditation in everyday life. I have 2 daughters, a business, loads of friends I have neglected and a big family that I love. It is important to me that practice, integrating meditation and becoming more present in life, is down to earth. It is doable for everyone.

I feel very passionate about inspiring others to own their story, and break free from the drama of it, and use it to connect to their sense of worth and belonging. Because of that I want to share mine - honest, connected, and out loud.

That being said, I fell off the wagon. I had a good start, then business panic, then work freeze, then another baby, and bam 2 years later there hasn't been a lot of activity.

So the amazing Natalie Sisson sent me an email, gave me a push and I am back to share, listen and connect to my creativity again.

I am back on Twitter as well... Oh my. Maybe you would like to connect? I'm at @mindfulground

See you tomorrow. :)

Letting go...

So, this summer has been a time of great change. Not so much around me, but in me. What do I wish for me and my family, what do I want for my business, and what do I want to spend my time working on. I love writing in english, and I truely feel that I have something to say. However, I have had to make a decision. What is this blog and why do I spend time writting. And for the moment I have made the choice to change this blog from an english version to a danish.

It has been a hard choice, as it means letting go of a dream I have had with this blog and what I wanted it to do. But as a lot of you know, once you do let go of something that is "weighing you down" it can feel so liberating. I have always been the kind of person who wants to change the world. I am sure I will... :) But I have to start closer to home - with me... he he. We will see how it goes.

So from now on you can read this blog in Danish. Thank you all for leaving your comments, and sharing your thoughts, it has meant the world to me.

Here's to new dreams and moments unfolding.

xox Carina

FUZZY

This week I went to an amazing concert with Grant Lee Buffalo. It has been ages since my partner and I have been to a gig. Music has always been a really big part of my life and our relationship. Becoming a mom of course slowed things down a bit, very naturally - anything going on after 9pm has been pretty non-existing... But even before my daughter was born, I started to stay in more, didn't really enjoy being social, couldn't stand noise, crowds etc. As the stress level in my life rose, and anxiety attacks joined the game - I closed me up. I have been so scared of dying, that I stopped living freely.

My meditation practice has been a great part of me opening myself up to life again. And it feels amazing. Standing there listening to amazing music, having a beer, standing close to the man I love, Grant Lee Phillips all of the sudden asked the crowd "Are you affraid of life". I could honestly say that at that moment in time I was truely not. And for the first time in ages I truely mean it.

Enjoy a little "FUZZY".

Getting lost in the woods.

This summer I needed a break from the city, the internet and my iPhone! My daughter and I took off, with some of my family to Sweden. In the middle of no where, a little house just sat there waiting.

Mindful holiday

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was so peaceful and the air so fresh, that I instantly felt at ease.

The past few years going through time with serveral anxiety attacks a day, becoming a mom and struggling with feeling sane enough for it..., and opening up to my sensitivity more, living in the city has become a bit of a stress factor. Living in constant noise doesn't have great effect on my system. So I knew this would be just what I needed.

Even the shower was amazing, standing butt naked with a full front view of the woods. And no peeping Toms.

Feeling free

 

 

 

 

The toilet being very good for the environment, was not so much a place for meditation...

Evivornment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This trip reminded me of the importance of re-charging, creating space in my life, and that although full of life, the city and being online ALL THE TIME, does have a negative effect on me and my stress level. And even better, to my big surprise of course, the city and my partner DID survive without me for a while...

The blog post is kicking off the blog, again. so this fall will be time for writing and hopefully interacting with you all.

Review: Mommy meditations

  I was very thrilled when I was contacted, and asked to review this cd. Providing a cd that for new mothers is something that I would like to do at some point. I am glad that there is an offer for women with smallchildren. I know it is needed, and our children benefit so much from a happy mother.

It took a while for it to get to me, not on the mommy meditation’s fault though. We live in a world where anything is possible - apart from downloading a mp3 from amazon and itunes because I am based in Denmark - amazing... But it made its way. : )

The 15 min. meditation is great for finding a sense of calm in a time with a lot of change and no sleep.  The cd is short and has the essentials. I know from my own experience that short is good when time is the same.

There is a guided meditation, a track with music, and also a good introduction to the hows and whys. You aren’t left to guess or spend time wondering if you are doing it right. I think that was very smart and you can relax into the meditation. They cleverly put the introduction on a seperate track, so you don’t have to listen to it everytime, and as you get more experienced.

If I am to critique anything it would be the use of the word mommy between adults. I am not a big fan, and would prefer mom or mother instead. But that is not important during the meditations.

I would recommend the Mommy meditation cd for new moms. And I am grateful for the chance to enjoy the meditations myself.

Mindfulness for moms

Aware Parenting and Living a Conscious Life By Hannah Andrews

Aware Parenting is a term coined by Aletha Solter. It is a parenting paradigm that has transformed families and their children around the world. Families practicing Aware Parenting raise healthy (both physically and emotionally) children that are willing to co-operate, have respect for other people and are willing and able to learn. Aletha has written 4 books; The Aware Baby, Raising Drug-Free Kids, Tears & Tantrums and Helping Young Children Flourish. Aware Parenting supports children’s full scale of emotions. It seems in today’s society that whenever a child cries, we immediately do all we can to stop it. Crying is a normal human emotion, just like anger, sadness, frustration and is just like happiness, joy and bliss, except on the other end of the scale. As we move into a new era of change through breaking down of old systems and Mother Earth showing us that the way the world is living is not 100% working. We need change, and starting with our children is where it is at.

Aletha’s books are full of research confirming that tears contain certain hormones that are released from the body, through tears when crying. As with all other means of elimination through the body ie toilet, sweat, nose and mouth, these functions of the physical body all have a very definite purpose. When all your child’s physical needs have been met, and they are still crying – what do you do? All you need to do is move in close, let them know you are here for them, it is ok to cry and be present with them. Let them know you love them and that you are not leaving them when they are upset. Let them get it all out with your loving presence.

Crying is a feeling. Some people say, well children don’t have stress, babies don’t have stress they ‘should’ be happy all the time. The truth is that babies do get stressed, children do get stressed. Going to the shopping centre is overwhelming as is a day at childcare. What we consider not stressful, for a child still learning about the world is very stressful. A baby coming out of a womb into cold air, smells, sounds and even the experience of learning how to use their physical body – is very stressful. What we take for granted, they are still learning. Ever been to a new place and get lost because you don’t know where you are or how to get where you need to go? Is that stressful? Can that be frightening if you are in a country you don’t speak their language? This is how it is for children all the time. The only way they can release and heal – is through crying. Supported crying with an empathetic listener.

Embracing children for all that they are is accepting all parts of them. The happiness as well as the sadness. If crying is a normal human emotion and it is scientifically proven the benefits and stress release through crying and we are not listening to our children’s crying when they are young, what message does that tell them? What do you do when your child cries? If all their physical needs are met, what do you do if they are still crying? How do you feel when they are crying? If you are uncomfortable with crying there is a way for change. Most of society is uncomfortable with crying due to the way they were treated when they were a child crying. When your child cries are you doing the same thing that was done to you? By living a conscious life and being aware of your own feelings, you have the power to change the way you respond to your child’s behavior - whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’. What do you do when you are upset? How do you feel when you have finished a big cry?

If your goal is to raise healthy children who are connected to their true self, then I highly recommend learning more about Aware Parenting and looking to your own past to heal the hurts that are preventing you from being truly connected to your children and family in healthy intimate ways.

To learn more visit

www.awareparenting.com

www.parentingwithpresence.net

www.realityawareness.com

About Hannah:

Mindful ParentingYoga teacher, Spiritual teacher and Mother, Hannah completed her Yoga Teacher Training in 2008 after 3 years of intense personal practise. Increased physical energy, mental clarity, alertness and increasing conscious awareness is fueling her passion to pass this valuable and life giving gift onto others.

Growing up through a dysfunctional family system, peers led her into a dark period of high risk drug taking as a teenager. Through a journey of intense personal transformation after hitting rock bottom in 2004, Yoga became the new high. With committed practise, the drugs naturally fell away. Inner transformation occurred as the body and mind were stretched to new limits. Whilst completing her training as a Yoga Teacher, she experienced a pregnancy coupled with Domestic Violence. Throughout all this, Yoga has been the lifesaver - with it's natural anti-depressant remedies, the physical strength building the emotional strength, and the peace that she feels when moving through the Asanas, she has found her heart in something she loves and is passionate about sharing this experience with others.

Training as a Lightworker Practitioner in 2005 allowed her to become aware of how the Spiritual affects the Physical. This has lead to a new way of Being, one which is positively transformational. Hannah loves sharing 'what works' and strongly agrees with empowering clients with tools and knowledge. This enables the client to have resources available and the capability to take responsibility to shift their life from negative to positive.

Pregnancy, childbirth and parenting has allowed her to expand her awareness to new heights. Practicing Aware Parenting with her daughter, her journey has increased to a new heightened awareness which she brings into her Yoga classes through feeling and breath. To experience, accept and claim all parts of ourselves, can see us returning to the wholeness for which we are in Truth.

Hannah teaches with authenticity, awareness and breath and trusts that the experience you have from being in her presence, will give you a new lease on life, even if only for a moment. Let the transformation begin.

Judgement day

I used to work in customerservice, and I would daily be called “a bitch, f... off, your are no good” and so on. People felt a need to vent and I was on the phone, so I wasn’t a person. Those were the terms, and days could be verrrrryyy long. More and more over the years, we don’t deal with people, we deal with screens, phones, emails, machines. We don’t have to think of the minds, hearts, lives of the online folks, as we are not faced with their eyes, vibrations, face to face talks.

It is so easy to let out and let loose, and never ever have to face the hurt feelings on the other end. The work, and ruined days of other human beings. Are we becoming a society that doesn’t have to care about other peoples feelings, and therefore we don’t? Have we in our ability to hide in cyber space, taken the right to lash out everytime we feel slightly annoyed?

I was given a little gift yesterday. It was a man who wrote me comment about my ebook saying “this was marketing elephant shit”. - and I am sure it was to him.

After reading it, I started to shake a little, butterflies in my stomach, stress levels rising, a feeling of not being good enough, felt nervous, sad, angry. Thoughts arised such as, “does everyone think that?, am I no good?, do people feel like I am full of it?, should I take it off?, remove all of the links to the book?, I put so much work into it, how dare he, I thought it was good, oh no!” etc. I wanted to defend myself, convince him that I am a good person, who truely wants to do good and bla bla bla.

I try my best not to be rude, and never give my, over the phone or online meetings, an online roar. Even if I know the feeling of reading something someone else put out there, thinking “this is not very valuble”, or feeling like letting the phone lady have it, feeling like writing an email in rage, because it is instant and easy relief.

The judging side of my being. Being very hard on others, at times where I feel that something wasn’t authentic. Thinking I know exactly what authentic is. I know better, and having no problem with letting others know how I feel - I have the right.

I sometimes forget that it is a person I am dealing with, that we are connected as human beings, and that I am not just bouncing around in the world on my own. What I do, say and vibrate matters.

Today was a reminder for me, to touch base with those feelings. To take a look at, the times where I let my autopilot take over, and the “I know better” mentality kicks in. And instead touch kindness, and awknowledge the time and heart they put into something. That I don’t know their intentions, backgrounds, hearts, minds. It was a reminder for me to stay open, and have a look inside, when the urge to judge arises. That I don’t have to like everything, and let it be.

I am grateful for the oppurtunity today, to let my inner judge Judy take the day off.

Create Mindful Moments Everyday. By Raelynn Maloney, Ph.D

I recently published a book designed to help parents integrate mindful presence into their everyday parenting. Waking Up: A Parent’s Guide to Mindful Awareness and Connection introduces parents to the practice of mindful presence. Mindful presence grounds you in the moment with your child. It anchors you in the here-and-now and allows you to truly experience what is real and alive in your parent-child relationship.

Consciously creating mindful moments in your daily life is easier than you think, especially when, as a parent, you realize that your child has been waiting for you in the present moment all along.

Creating mindful moments is about using what is right in front of you, right now, to connect with and tune into your child. It is about consciously bringing purpose to any interaction through a laugh, a look, a book, a smile. A “moment of presence” is about using your full awareness to make a connection. It is a moment when you are fully paying attention to what is happening internally for you and externally around you. It’s as if you let everything fade into the background except what is in front of you and available to you here and now (the laugh, the look, the book, anything).

You can experience a whole new way to connect with your child. Start today by taking this moment to stop and treat yourself to a full, deep breath. Drop into yourself and feel your center. Look over the three moments described below, apply them to your own parent-child interaction, and transform your every day into mindful moments.

Everyday Mindful Moments

Morning

• How can I mindfully wake my child for the day?

As I wake my child for the day, I am conscious of wanting her to enter the day positively and peacefully, therefore, I bring positive and peaceful energy with me into the interaction.”

Afternoon

• How can I mindfully greet my child after school?

I put my phone in the console and watch my son approach. I smile when I see him. I give him a high-five or a fist-bump when he jumps into the car.”

Evening

• How can I be mindfully present at bedtime?

Instead of yelling up the stairs to ask my daughter to start getting ready for bed, I climb the steps. When I am closer to her, I speak directly and in a normal tone, bringing a positive, healthy energy into our night.”

Find out more about Raelynn Maloney here:

Counseling Practice- http://www.amindfulplace.com

Book:Waking Up: A Parent's Guide - http://www.wakingupwithawareness.com

Book: Caring for Donor Families- http://www.caringfordonorfamilies.com

Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/raelynnmaloney

LinkedIn - http://www.linkedin.com/in/raelynnmaloneyphd

Twitter - http://twitter.com/raelynnmaloney

The time I feel most present... By Zach Rosen

Mindful Parenting article I would like to thank Carina, from way across the ocean, to ask me to

contribute to this 'being mindful with your child' blog, as a dad. I
have followed and learned from Carina's postings (and circulated them in
our neighborhood through parent email groups!) and it felt great to be
asked to contribut. So here goes:

The time I feel most present with B, our nine-about-to-be-ten year old
is, maybe strangely enough, when she is about to go to sleep and, maybe
even more strangely enough, when we watch television together. When B is
about to go to sleep, we both go through the ritual of her brushing her
teeth, or us brushing her teeth together. I love the smell of the
toothpaste, and the way she looks at herself in the mirror when she is
brushing her teeth.Loving brushing teeth a bit strange I suppose, but I
find it fun anyway.

Also, when B is furiously tearing through her night clothing, trying to
figure out what is the best night outfit to put on (the pajamas are too
hot or the bottoms are too tight or the colors don't match, or
whatever), given I have no attachment whatsoever to style or clothing
preference, it's easy to sit back and watch her in all her furious glory
and to provide whatever emotional and/or other support she needs.

I love putting on the blanket and sheet 'the right way' (as my mom did
to me when I was a child, first throwing the blanket in the air and then
as it descends, a cool breeze comes down first and then the sheet or
blanket). I love picking out which stuffed animal she wants to go to
sleep with, over the ten million (exaggeration, clearly) animals there
are to choose from.

My favorite way of 'being there' is when B, a procrastinator of sleep,
will talk about any and all things that are bothering her (mainly
bothering her) as she falls asleep. We've developed a ritual where I
sing her "The Sh'ma" a several verse Jewish prayer that by now, brings
her to yawning and falling asleep. Then my more favorite thing is after
B is asleep, I listen to her breathing, the sounds of the cars going by
and the wind on the windows.

This is the easier stuff. The harder stuff for me in being mindful with
B is just plain old playing around. My dad never played with me like
other dads did. He did, however, take the time from his obsessive
preoccupation with his business and his worsening depression, to draw
with me and to talk science stuff. Didn't happen much, but did happen
from time to time and these moments are fond moments to me.

So with B and me, working on an art or science project together (of
late, Daddy I'm sick of drawing all I do is drawing there is nothing
else to do in the house) comes naturally to be present with her -
however, I feel completely bereft at playing any kind of games were her,
and because of physical bad back type limitations, have a great deal of
trouble even throwing a ball around with her. The other doing-type-thing
that comes naturally is swimming and I feel great that I've taken her
swimming since she was a baby and today she loves to swim and is a great
swimmer too (non-competitive, just for fun).

The past year has been difficult for me professionally, very big time
transition from one job to another, very difficult and very draining of
my attention to the personal area of my life. The not so great thing is
that the worry and attention to that area, at first, drained my
attentional capacity at home. The VERY great thing, is that my new job
allows me more time at home, no late night, every night working and, in
general, less stress and therefore more ability to 'be' with B in the
many aspects of her life, from picking her up at the bus to being with
her at night

Oh yeah, I did say one of my favorite things to do with B where I feel
present is to watch television together (yeah, I know, not in the list
of mindful activities to do with kids, but c'est la vie) and so there is
also MOVIE NIGHT!

B and I both get to eat in the family room and watch movies together,
laughing at the same time, exchanging looks when someone in the movie
says something ridiculous or heartful and then rating the movie together
carefully at the end of each movie with a thumbs up, down or thumbs in
the middle and then saying why. Yeah, yeah, I know watching movies is
not your typical "being there with the kid" type image, but that's how
she and I enjoy ourselves in that way!

After meditating I am much more present with B and with everything for
that matter, but in the course of the day, the presence gained through
meditation, I find, fades quickly. So my energy goes to meditating in
life, bringing my attention to the present, taking in each morsel that
life has to offer.

I am getting better at being mindful, but still am an ADHD mindless boob
at heart (no mistake there - NOT mindful, mindLESS) type wanderer - -
much more often than I would like. Compassion for myself in failing to
be present much more often that I would like - big time task (saying to
myself, DADDY BE THERE MORE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER - as B says to me the
same thing over and over as I am distracted - ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

So, all in all I'd give myself a thumbs up on some days for being
mindful and a thumbs down for my preoccupied days and a thumbs in the
middle for the half and half days. Like with a lot of things, I'm
betting on practice getting my mindful self more in tune and my mindless
self a bit less practice, and, hopefully be more present for B and
myself as well.

Zach

Find Zach and learn here:

www.twitter.com/buddahbear01

http://twitter.com/#!/buddahbear01><http://buddahbear01.wordpress.com/

Mindful Parenting. By Michelle Sedas

I’m delighted that Carina invited me to write a guest post for her Mindful Parenting series. I must admit that even though she reminded me that this post is, “not about being an expert, it is about being human,” I was still hesitant. In fact, I am a week late turning in this post, and for this deadline-driven writer, that is a rare occurrence, indeed. As may be the case with many of you, Mindfulness is not something that comes easily for me. I began studying it recently in order to alleviate anxiety. As a full-time mom and wife and a part-time writer, trying (with all my might) to juggle everything often leaves me feeling anxious. Yet what drives me to improve myself is my love for my family.

While being able to stay easily accessible to others with today’s technology can be good, staying in constant contact can become addictive. I must make a conscious effort to go off-line so that I can focus on what matters most. And with all of life’s demands bombarding us, it can become easy to get caught up in our jobs, hobbies, and volunteer work. I believe, though, that the quality of our relationships create the quality of our lives, and my most sacred relationships are those that I have with my family.

I remind myself on a daily, at times hourly, basis, to be present for my children. To look them in the eyes when they are speaking. To ask open-ended questions to encourage them to engage in conversation. To notice when they act with kindness or compassion and to praise them for it. As part of our routine, each afternoon, we play soothing music throughout the house and spend time together. We play puzzles or games or read. This is one of my favorite family rituals, allowing us an opportunity to enjoy one another’s company. It is also our family tradition to always eat dinner together at the table. For us, this time is priceless and we spend it talking about our days.

Being present with my children often requires that I turn off my phone and hide it in a drawer. Or that I completely shut down my computer so that I’m not temped to multi-task. There are times, however, when I do slip up. When I’m not fully present for my children. In those moments, I remind myself that I am a work in progress. I am making an effort to become a more relaxed and mindful parent. And, as Carina says, I am, after all, human.

~Michelle Sedas

Michelle Sedas is the author of Welcome The Rain, Live Inspired, and the coauthor ofThe Power of 10%. She is the cofounder of Running Moms Rock and the host of the Inspired Living Cafe. Her stories have appeared in five Chicken Soup for the Soul books.

Follow her on facebook www.Facebook.com/MichelleSedasAuthor

Visit Michelle on her site http://www.michellesedas.com,Twitter @MichelleSedas