Why do this at all?
As long as I can remember the body I was given has been a subject of talk, opinion - mine and others - and a feeling of having to hide, change, fix or excuse.
I developed very early and since the 3rd grade I was called “big tits” = I just wanted small/no breasts. Later I realized that I had more visible hair on my arms, legs and upper lip = I felt very manlike, I didn’t wear short sleeves for years, and used to wax my upper lip... well, until the skin got so irritated that instead of a woman-tash I got a rash there.
Further along the line I put on weight and have been called fat on the street and my first boyfriend wanted me to lose weight if I was to keep him... he left. And this is not even including my own thoughts about how I should look, and the tiring comparison game.
A while back I was walking down the street, and noticed for the first how REALLY uncomfortable I felt. I was sucking in my gut, looking down, wearing a big-ass jacket on a very hot day and all the fuss wasn’t making the trip outside worth it. This HAD to stop.
Whose opinion mattered?
How could I shift the way I related to myself and my body? First step was actually looking at it. Becoming mindful of the comments and thoughts that went through my head when I looked in the mirror, and then challenging them. Why did I without any question or exploration believe the trash talk to be true?
When I began opening up, looking at myself, sending, love, forgiveness and compassion to the story behind the scar, acknowledging the reason why I went to food for comfort, seeing how amazing the body is with what it can heal, do and take, and realizing that no matter how I looked, I was still whole - it changed for me. I can feel tiny and large shifts, I don’t feel limited. It starts with me first. No good, in experience, has come from hate.
So, that’s why I created this. It isn’t only about weight; maybe you don’t like your freckles,
your teeth, wrinkles, scars, stretch marks, feet, legs, bum, belly. You name it, most of us dislike something, I am sure you wouldn’t be here if you were completely in love with yourself. It needs to change. Your self-talk. A very popular remark would be that you wouldn’t treat your child or best friend the way you treat yourself, would you?
Throughout this book we will be looking at the body and how we relate to it. Maybe you still want to lose weight or wax your upper-lip after this, but my hope is that those actions come from a love for yourself and not from heart wrenching dislike. Beginning to see how amazing you and your body is, and opening up to gratitude for it. Trusting our worth as we are.
I am so happy you are here. ♥