Day 3: Dragons

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The original prompt was *Your little dragon is misbehaving*… Hmmm, well the tone between the adults in the house has been lingering in the dirty mind realm and I couldn’t get my mind past the tackiness... I downsized to dragons. 

What do I know about dragons - not much. Stig (my partner) taught me to watch and enjoy fantasy movies. But the love is only a few years deep. And to be honest I don't seem to have the stamina or concentration to really understand that category of films - or what the dragon is all about. 

I could only think of the dragon from 'The Never Ending Story' and remember how mesmerized I was by it's weird bubbly back. The next one was 'Puff the Magic Dragon' and how sad I felt when we were forced to sing it in school. 

Skipping past that. 
Where do you go with Dragons. The above felt too irrelevant. Contemplating the practice of exercising my creativity and embarking on the a post a day, this was exactly what I was wanting. Where do I go? 

A wise man said this: 

“I believe in everything until it’s disproved. So I believe in fairies, the myths, dragons. It all exists, even if it’s in your mind. Who’s to say that dreams and nightmares aren’t as real as the here and now?”
— John Lennon

I am a dreamer. My man is the realist. I am also the one with the most nightmares. A dreaded part of my wild imagination. My nightmares stole my attention, most of my life. Jailed in my mind. But "dragons" existed in the realest sense. And that has been the hardest to explain to people around me. 

My work has been allowing my dreams to live in fertile soil. 

The other thing dragon calls on is strength and courage. Own the shit. This creature shows up so timely. Own the story. Question what you call reality. Let your creativity be explored. 

Do you believe in Dragons? 

Prompt January 4th: What I listen to... 

Day 2: I buy... nothing new

So it seems 2017 will become the year of challenges, in a good and fun way. Pushing me out of the comfort of the usual. Good!

As 2016 came to an end, my mom offered a challenge for 2017. A year of buying nothing new. 

I accepted. 

But what does that even mean? 

A few years ago I interviewed Bea Johnson (listen to that interview here), she is the Queen of Zero Waste and author of the book Zero Waste home (2013). 

I was interested in the environment and my impact on it. How could I change the way I live to have less of a negative impact. 

I have a post coming up about Zero Waste later, so I won’t get into that. But this interest has led me, and my mom, to the 2017 buy nothing new. 
In our house, we have A LOT of stuff. Things we need, things forget we have, don’t use, don’t need. 

There is a tendency to buy more of all the stuff, and dump it in a cupboard and then it just sits there until I go nuts and declutter. 

I have never been a huge shopper, but even so - things sneak in. 

This isn’t just a money saving ordeal. I really want to explore how much stuff and needs dominate my life. And if this can be liberating to eliminate from our day to day hustle. 

What does this challenge consist of? 

  • I won’t be buying anything new for 2017, no electronics, clothes, thingies, kitchen gear (even mason jars… arghhh)
  • If people want to give me presents (I love presents…), I ask for experiences or something used
  • I can buy things from thrifts stores, friends, yard sales, DBA and trend sales and places like these. 
  • I can buy food… no brainer… But will by as locally as I can, organic 
  • Toiletries - well the essentials and will commit myself to buying the ones that don’t come in plastic. 
  • Cleaning products, in bulk from LØSmarket
  • And more on plastic, I will do what I can to find the non plastic-warped foods etc. But this will be impossible in some cases. But the intention is clear - as little plastic as possible. 
  • No free samples, these are also new, highly wasteful and most often not really needed
  • Hauling out the sewing machine and repairing what I can, before tossing it out
  • Books… I have a book fetish, which means I have shelves of books I haven’t read yet. Also the library is amazing, I can get any book I need here. So no books this year. 
  • Art supplies… I have enough at the moment to last me a life time. But I will be using them I’ve decided. 
  • Courses… the online ones. Not really that wasteful. But an area where I have spent SOOOO much money. I signed up for many I haven't completed and I don’t need more to not finish. So 2017 I will not buy any online courses. I can do live workshops though. 

These are the basics. As life continues I'm sure questions, needs, demands will arise. So I will do status posts now and then throughout the year. 

Do I think this will be easy, not at all. Even though I don’t consider myself a big spender, I think I will be shocked by how often I have gone to store off- and online to scratch the shopper itch. 

So here’s to as little breaking in 2017 as possible. ;)

Do you want to take on the challenge of buying nothin new in 2017? Throw a link to your post in the comments. 

 

More inspiration on the topic. 

http://robgreenfield.tv/nothingnew/https://youtu.be/2krmmZ-690A

https://youtu.be/2krmmZ-690A

 

Prompt for January 3rd: Dragons

Day 1... a pledge and a quest

This photo pretty much sums it up... 

This photo pretty much sums it up... 

Goodbye 2016 and thank f*** you’re over. Nothing else I’d like to add to the amount of reflective posts about the year that just ended. But I welcome 2017 with hope, excitement and determination. YOU? 

I am a tad hung over as I write this. No proofreading done, as Emma my star is probably doing what I dream I could today… So you get the unedited version today. 

Well, I have made a decision. One to see if this blog thing is dead. Over. Done. Or can it come to life when perspective is changed. Can I find the joy of feeling my fingers play on the keyboard, like a piano. 

See the thing is that ‘business’ kind of killed my joy of writing. The era of how to posts strangled the creative string in me. All the good advice - or at least advice - on how things would lift off for me if I just followed the script. Telling people how to do shit in 5-10 easy steps. I gulped it all, wanting to succeed. But I don’t know easy, and am not good on advice. I may dish it out if asked, but always more of a this is what I did reply. Which means I have shared nada the past few years. 

It blocked me from showing the unpolished me. Resistance bricked a pretty solid wall. 

But can I do business without the brilliant post that will separate me from the pack, and let me shine like an expert. Well we will see. I hope not though. Expert I am not. Explorer at best. And plain old ordinary me always. Of course I can… right? 

What does this have to do with my line of work? Nothing maybe, possibly everything. Because I am uncovering stories, bits and pieces of the construction that is my life. All the weird odds and ends. And I know that I will learn a few things about myself along the way. 

This project, or challenge if you will, is a personal exploration. What can I uncover? What will my mind create. Where and to what depth will it run if I write a post a day, from a prompt that has nothing really to do with what I do in my life. It is no self help prompt, no earth wise, women thang

I chose a book and took the pledge and on December 31st 2017 we will see what became of it. Will I run dry? Will I write myself alive. Will I share with you the unspoken within me, or will I get to January 20th and have nothing else to say. Who knows. That will be the fun part. My blog will not go on a quest to save anyone with tips and tricks. I don’t know if anyone will read or care. 

There is the opportunity for you to join me. I will share the upcoming prompt each day. 

Come back here and share the link to you post in the comments and we could get quite the blogroll going. Doesn’t matter if it’s in Danish or English join in. No demand for you to join in daily. But would be great to read the stories uncovered for you. 

It could bring back the blogging greatness. Letting our stories be revealed and the inspiration that drips from them. 

The unknown feels exciting. Maybe it will inspire you do go on a quest. 

A post a day keeps the doctor away. I will be back tomorrow. 

January 2nd prompt: I buy with my little eye… (I totally made this one up as I have something to share about it… HA!)

 

It's that time of year again...

Every other year or so I come back to this story on the blog, to this ‘little’ event in my life. 

This year it is the 15th anniversary of a big decision I took as a 19 year old gal looking for some adventure in life. Just after 9/11 15 years ago, I took a plane to Sarajevo. I was going to work on the American led HQ camp Butmir. Later a detour to Kosovo punched the last air out of me. 

It was the beginning of a journey that changed be. Broke me it felt like, coming back. 

The thing about coming back to this story isn’t so much re-living and slumping about in the same old wounds. For me, this year, it has more to do with the story. Over the past 3 years I have been digging deep into story work, how they change, how new aspects of story become relevant and triggered at different times. How our relationship to it shifts. How we cling and how we let go. 

Like any woven material, one thread is a part of the bigger picture and it goes into the fabric; you can’t see where it disappeared to, but it is there, holding the structure. This fraction of my story still holds part of the structure. But it is no longer the main color.

For the first 10 years after returning home, the story was anxiety, alcohol, mis-trust, no peace inside, stress in my body, anger, frustration, depression. Slowly the fog started to clear and I felt a little more alive. I found myself with children, a man, a chill-laxed life. But turmoil was still there and it still needs some tending to. 

Back in the day I thought I would go back to my old self, but the fact is I still don’t take overwhelm that well to put it lightly… It is a challenge with kids and relationships in general, but I am starting to see that this is a part of the foundation I work with right now. Before I thought it was the main fix it focus of my life. 

I need to create some space for silence or it caves in on me. I stress easily and little things can quickly became very large. I know that too many people, their bullshit, the amount of games being played, creates too much chaos in me; I need to learn to let it be. I cannot create safety within for myself by knowing what everyone’s thinking or doing… the control freak must be let off. She was however a good companion for a while. 

I need my life to be simple. Complex does my head in. It may seem boring or isolating, but I need to have simplicity to function. It is not an escape; it is my lifeline. Oh and sleep, for a recovering anxiety person, sleep is essential - I have not been getting enough of that for the past 4 years…

It has been a battle between ambition, dreams, owning and honoring the small steps I need to take to be well. A battle of being a resourceful woman, but with a bigger faucet that drains the tank quicker. For saying yes to shit, when no would’ve been the wiser choice. 

As I sit back and remember, it was a wild ride, I had fun, it was horrible and destroying. I am grateful for, some of, the people I met, for the learnings and for spending a year and a half in a beautiful country that was re-building itself after terror beyond our imagination. 

But this story is becoming a thread in the very beginning of the now large woven fabric. I accept that it has left permanent marks on my body and in my soul, but the story is changing in its toll. 

Basically, this past - while it has been about acceptance rather than bulldozing through to get to where the world seemed to want me - has been about creating the right boundaries for me. About trying to sense what was me and what was everyone else. About owning me and not saying I am sorry for being so.

A journey we all take - being us - this is just how that thread played out for me. 

Here’s to stories that hurt and adventures that allow us to grow… 

Maybe to return in a few years, maybe not.

My 2015 List O'mania

How I entered 2015... (It's a chili, not a... ) 

How I entered 2015... (It's a chili, not a... ) 

 

I love lists, it’s fun, get my act together lists, shopping and reflections. And ending my year with a list is what I feel called to do. 

Tv-series: Transparent. I love this series, it’s raw, funny, tests our sexual boundaries and stigmas. I have watched a shit load of series this year. We don’t have a TV package or channels, so we choose what we want to watch. Quality and quantity... I also really liked, Penny Dreadful, 

Highlight: Family. I have spent years checking out if the grass really is greener on the other side, searching for my purpose -  what I wanted to do. But Welcoming Eivy into the world, also brought me to a deeper devotion to this family life. It can be a no no to talk openly about the ambivalent feelings of motherhood, but they are there, have been stronger and this year I feel myself settling into it more. It is a transition.

Movie: I am a sucker for late 80’s early 90’s action movies, seriously I could watch Die Hard a few times a year and still feel entertained. A movie I really enjoyed this year was Life of Pi. But laughed hard when I watched The Neighbors… (yes I know…) Watched the latest movie about the Yes Men and other really awesome documentaries. But not overly intellectual. 

Learning: I stress and act out of panic too often. Which is why Focus is my word for 2016. 

Body: Well…

Party: As I was pregnant for most of 2015 I haven’t partied a lot but I have been to a few birthdays that were fun. Ok, I will go with no, on this one, I have enjoyed chill out time this year. 

Pet peeve: People who ask for medical (urgent) advice on Facebook… Also not big on the word juicy when referring to content. 

Illness’: This has been the year of vomit for the entire family, I would like to kindly ask that 2016 - not so much. Thank you. 

Celebration: I leave 2015 a lot more content, happy and hopeful than I entered it. This is huge, my inner angry ass woman seems to have mellowed a little. 

Online: Met some amazing women in circles and courses and so pleased I have. This Online thing can actually bring true connection. Also the retreat where I danced for a weekend - I want more of that come 2016. 

Off-line: My road trip to Sweden with Lilli, we both needed that alone time. 

Fear: That I would never lift up from what has felt like another rock bottom at times. I can say it has, I have lifted. And also know that there can be many rock bottoms in life. 

Laugh: The instagram #whymychildiscrying 

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This video… https://www.facebook.com/realsamiford/videos/903627999706566/

Drink: herbal nettle tea and am looking forward to my first Mojito on new years. 

Love: Seeing my 3 girls all together for the first time. It was amazing and a laugh that Nola found the baby totally overrated when she noticed her belly button - why does she have a snail #gross

Body vol. 2: ok actually I grew a person inside my body this year, and that is pretty wild. I am amazed what the body can do and heal, even though I haven’t been digging the look of it. Also I get body love and worked with it myself. But every change is a new thing to embrace, and my body has changed a lot after having 3 kids.

Interview with Zero Waste Queen Bea Johnson

I have been sniffing around Zero Waste for a year now. Making a few changes, becoming more and more aware of how I shop, run the household, run my business and what changes can we make. But actually the first step for us, was becoming mindful of how much we actually waste. This meant that we started to recycle EVERYTHING we possibly could. 

It is crazy the amount we were throwing away - and now taking to the recycling station. Before one tiny garbage bag at a time didn't seem like is was all that much. After putting in the time and effort to see the amount of trash we generated, well it really brought our attention to our waste. It fueled this journey for us even further. 

Some think it is wildly cool, others focus more on all that we are NOT doing. Even more people just think we are way off on a hippie granola woo woo train. And hey so am I - it's a process, it takes a lot longer than I thought to change our habits, but also how hard it is in a society that isn't geared to waste less.

One thought though, I can't agree that caring for our environment is solely a hippie thang... We can all take different actions.

I will be blogging a lot about our journey toward less waste. Our first steps and also the frustrations e.g. when we can't find veg that isn't wrapped in plastic etc. 

It won't be a share to make anyone feel guilty, I am sick of judging, and I know that pointing fingers rarely does anything other than piss people off. I do however hope that some of this may inspire others to what they could do in their home to create less waste and take care of our precious planet. 

Before I get into my journey, I want to share an interview I did with the woman who inspired me- Please meet Be a Johnson the author of "Zero Waste Home", she a first mover and front runner of inspiring people to a zero waste life style. 

She shares her 5 R's and how you can begin to take action today. 

I hope you enjoy her words of wisdom. 

Top 5 differences between 1st and 3rd pregnancy...

Fear…

During the first pregnancy, fear of all sorts was at the top of the list. I was very worried that my poor vagina would explode as the baby entered the world. I sat in almond oil baths for hours and spent loads of time on Google making sure that I was doing everything I could to prevent my womanhood being ruined.

I was scared what birth would do to me, and so unsure I would manage without all the drugs in the world. I spent hours reading about birthing while biting my fingernails. 

2nd birth home birth, I loved it. Very detailed planning and wanting. 

This time is a planned home birth and we are yet to have the plan made… Everyone keeps asking, so are you ready? Yeah sure, we still have a few days until it all goes down.

Poop and scars…

When going through birth prep classes one woman mentioned that you can poop as the baby pushes down and that an enema was an option to avoid this. Ew gross, I spent a lot of time wondering how our sex life would ever survive a situation like that. Wouldn’t you know, I didn’t give a shit (haha) during the actual pushing phase. Don’t even know if anything like that happened. 

Stretch marks: I did not want a roadmap of scars shattering my bikini bod… that was until I remembered that I have rarely put a bikini on. Also I kind of like how they tell the story of pregnancy and giving birth to, so far, 2 children. 3rd child, well it’s already stretched eh. 

Impatience…

1st time around I was ready to give birth after 6 months, come on already… This time not so much. I have things to do and sleep to be had. All is well and she can arrive 2 weeks late if she wants. I just would like to demand the right to not get up the last 3-4 weeks. 

I am so lucky that my kids and man are totally on board with that… not. 

Equipment…

I downloaded lists, and spent money on so many “essentials” during the first pregnancy. What!? How can you be a good parent without this plastic thing I don’t know how to use? The mag clearly said it WASN’T an add, and that you couldn’t get by without it. Well, wouldn’t you know, the best toy in the world was a cardboard box, and the baby grew out of all of it in a day or two anyway. 

This time… “babe, can you get the pram out of the shed”, “sure”… cool, done. 

Documentation…

I looked through old scrapbooks, and smiled at the photos of my baby bump and how it grew hour by hour for 9 months the 1st time around, and how we made sure to have me smiling like a loon at the camera, so we wouldn’t ever forget this awesome time. We had the test and everything there. 

This time I had to get the camera out in a panic, “shit, 8 months pregnant already, I don’t have a single picture of me or the belly”. Sorry little new baby girl, we love you just as much. But the dog ate the external hard drive with ALL of the photos from the pregnancy and your childhood…

 

Things that are the same. 

 

The man… 

I, just as I did the first time, wake up in the middle of the night (for hours). With struggle, I roll over to look at the dad, who is snoring. Sip a little water to control the heartburn, frown and think to myself - asshole, you did this to me, how can you just sleep through the night like nothing and here I am in bits from no sleep, kicks to the bladder and a throat on fire. 

Next morning, I look at him and think wow, what a miracle we are having another baby, and how lucky are we, I love him… #hormones

Excitement…

I cannot wait to meet her, to sniff her head and welcome her into our family with all that, that is. With everything said, I do have a tingle in my body, as I did with the oldest and a growing love for this little being. I however am a little older, a little more experienced, and a little more aware of the fact that I know nothing about how this birth will change our life. 

When you are ready, so are we.  

xo Mom

Birth Rockstar Shalome Doran

I am pregnant, and a mom, but that's not the only reason why I love this woman and her mission. I have always been allergic to have to fit into to boxes, meet standards for a valid experience, or being forced into choices that just weren't aligned. And it happens so often. She is here to support you to make the choices that fit and suit YOU. 

Listen in here...

Shalome wants to live in a world where women approach their birth with excitement and awe. A highly-medicalised hospital birth and 2 sensational home births taught her that a little preparation can make ALL the difference, and that you can feel like a total Rockstar when you birth, regardless of how you birth. 

Shalome works with pregnant mamas to replace their fear of pain with the insights and self- belief to roar their baby out - by creating their own informed, empowered and amazing birth experience. When she’s not gushing about empowering birth stories, you can find Shalome editing her digital-baby, the Rockstar Birth Magazine 

Find out more here

rockstarbirthmagazine.com

facebook.com/RockstarBirth 

New Podcast Episode: Born through fire with Kaly McKenna

 

Kaly McKenna shares her realness and rawness about life and when it doesn't go the way you thought. She is such an inspiration to many with her story and the stories she shares on her podcast show.

Kaly is an accomplished combat veteran and pilot whose life was turned upside down when her husband of ten years left her alone with a newborn. She began a journey of self-discovery that led to yoga with horses, leaping from waterfalls and ultimately connecting with a community of women who held her while she transformed.

Kaly has been Born Through Fire. She is now on a mission to give voice to others who are suffering in silence and turn their story into triumph through her podcast Born Through Fire at www.bornthroughfire.com

Kaly turned her love for creative entrepreneurs and her genius at business into a successful business strategy service to build creatives wings to soar. 

Tune in to the podcast episode here... 

 

What to do when you wake up and the dog shits on your mood…

This morning I woke up, the birds were singing, the kids were quiet, my man was snoring a little less than earlier that night, and the sun peeked through the trees outside my window.

All in all, pure bliss, until my pregnant super sonic sense of smell picked up on something odd and I remembered all the to do’s, and what happened at 3am…

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Cut to the night before…

We had given the dog a proper bone. Norma was busy for 3 hours with the thing, and we had the couch to ourselves - bonus. But as a parent staying up passed 9.30pm it too hard, I was tired and kissed my man goodnight and went to bed to read “The Alchemist”. 

I started to nod off after 2 pages (I am thinking that maybe the life changing experience of reading the book, will never happen at that pace). I gave in and went to sleep. 

3am I wake up because the two year old was screaming 2 inches from my face, that she couldn't find her teddy. It took me about 15 minutes on all 4's, naked, in the dark, without my glasses on, to find her teddy. Emergency over. Goodnight. 

4am; elbowed the man as the snoring was out of this world - don’t lie on your BAAAAAAAACK. 

Cut back to this morning… 

So the dog and the bone!

Super sonic pregoo nose. 

Something is wrong. In all the beauty of this morning glory, the oder of dog shit was outrages. Please no. I am not cleaning it up - I can’t. I feel sick. I woke him up, begging him to take care of it only to get a super annoyed reply “It will be there in 30 minutes, now go back to sleep”. 

For the next 30 minutes I breathed through my mouth. Shifting between gagging and drifting off.

Luckily he was my hero and cleaned, what turned out to cover most of the living room floor, up - so gross. Note to self, don’t buy that kind of bone again. 

But the shit stuck to my mood and I spent an hour staring angry at the wall. 

My medicine for starting the day like this is to make a nice cup of tea, and take a moment to do nothing. If I wasn’t pregnant maybe it would be a morning mojito. 

Before I go outside with my cup of tea, I wish you a jolly good day.