The Wild

Episode #7 Pleasure with Lesley Stedmon

Self-compassion podcast woman
Self-compassion podcast woman

Do you miss pleasure in your life?

Today's show is a great and important one. Our guest today is bringing pleasure back, not as a luxury but as a part of everyday life. I love it.

Lesley Stedmon believes that pleasure is non-negotiable. She wants to live in a world where busy women take the time to make pleasure a priority. Merging her experience as a Registered Nurse and Certified Sexual Health Educator.

Lesley created a movement called The Sensual Sisterhood; a growing community of women who desire to experience the most sensual version of themselves.

Through 1:1 coaching, online workshops, client intensives and destination retreats, Lesley has consistently created a sacred and safe space for hundreds of women to reclaim their desire, embody their truth and own their strong, sacred, sensual selves.

You can find out more about Lesley and The Sensual Sisterhood at www.thesensualsisterhood.com

Connect in Thursday: The Body

Connecting to the body
Connecting to the body

Take a moment to pay attention to how your body feels right now. If it supports you close your eyes.

Why it that so important? It all goes down in the body. How we sense the world. The body is fluid experience and such a great way into to showing up where you are. It isn't a thing. We know the parts it has, but the experience of body and be so diverse, intense, numb and can bring such richness to life.

What is your experience of body right now?

Maybe you need water, food. If you feel relaxed how does that feel? If there is tension in the body, how do you relate to that? Whatever you sense, give yourself a moment to meet that with curiosity.

Share your thoughts with us on the Facebook page

Episode #6 with Casey Erin Wood

Casey erin wood
Casey erin wood

I was curious about what authentic brilliance is, and invited Casey on the show to tell her story and why she feels Authentic brilliance is something we all have.

Casey Erin Wood has a simple philosophy: the universe is speaking to us, we should listen.

As a writer, speaker and coach she has dedicated her life to helping women own what she calls their

Authentic Brilliance

, the quality of clarity and confidence that allows you to walk into a room and transform people through your sheer presence.  She believes we each possess this unique essence and that we are on this planet to share it.

One client shared, “I want more of what she's got - motivation, inspiration, excitement, brain waves, illumination and vision.", while another declared, “Casey is your go-to gal if you're looking to shine even brighter in the world."  And another simply said, “She brought me home”.

When she’s not empowering women to own their Authentic Brilliance you can find her nibbling dark chocolate, having dance parties with her daughter or rocking tree pose on her dock.

In this episode we talked about: 

The self-compassionate woman podcast
The self-compassionate woman podcast

 why connection the body is important

The self-compassionate woman podcast
The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how to access your authentic brilliance

The self-compassionate woman podcast
The self-compassionate woman podcast

 what that means

The self-compassionate woman podcast
The self-compassionate woman podcast

 how your surrounding and sisterhood support you

You can check out Casey’s new group program here, it’s all about deepening your connection with your intuition!

Connect in Thursday: Look up and around

Look up - the self-compassion
Look up - the self-compassion

On this fine Thursday I would like you to look up. We can get so focused on where we are going, what we need to get done, that we miss little moments of beauty right in the middle of the familiar and ordinary. Curiosity is such a catalyst for adventure and that muscle may need some exercise, flexing and stretching. A simple practice like this can be a good way to start.

Today's practice: Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are?

Beginning to open up with curiosity, with presence where you are, to experience in a more intimate way is more simple than you may think. Even if looking up takes you to the grey ceiling in the office. What you do you notice?

Share it with your friends.

[Tweet "Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are? #connectinthursday @carinalyall"]

Thursday is connect in day on the blog. I offer a short, free practice or reflection to support you to connect to yourself and others with more presence, self-compassion and care. This is a little nugget of inspiration for you. Allow it move through you, and be open to what it may bring. Stay tuned here on the blog every Thursday.

xo Carina

a tribute to LOVE

9 years ago I met the man, it would turn out, who changed me. Tuesday is photo day on the blog showing glimpses of me life, practice and journey. Today is a tribute to the man, the love and the life I have shared with my blonde Scandinavian (who I first thought must be boring - how wrong I was). <3

#1 Before the kids. We look so well rested.

Love life and partnership
Love life and partnership

#2 Now expecting child #1. I am sure I said something REALLY funny. Still look very well rested.

9 years together.
9 years together.

#3 Ok now way past birth of first child and SO hard to find a picture we're both in . Such a bad photo, but HA! at least the wee one looks pretty fly! The second child is on the way.

roadtrip
roadtrip

#4 Things like this now dominate our camera...

IMG_0299
IMG_0299

#5 and this my phone...

IMG_2314
IMG_2314

#6 But once in a while we still get time to get away and enjoy each other's company.

Parents weekend out
Parents weekend out

#7 And here's to the next 9 years my love <3 (not knowing why it looks like you have fangs...)

to the next 6 years.
to the next 6 years.

the tributes to TRIBUTES

I have been playing around for a while. With what you may ask... Well, with how to get my writing going for real, what I enjoy writing about and how the hell to get started on that. Apart from procrastination, nothing has been stopping me really. So here we go, diving into the fun part of writing - running with it. The way I want to do it.

One thing I love writing is a Tribute. I love that angle and giving a hear hear to the oddness of life, to the things that make us whole, to what connects us as people and the things that make us laugh.

For me it is often the subtleties of life. I love describing a brief meet between people, a thought that came and went, a feeling so strong it couldn't be shaken off...

...and the experience of all of the above. I have tried the "how to posts", and steps and letting people in on how to do this and that. And truly I believe that the best support I could ever give anyone, was the space to allow them to listen to themselves - so I stopped doing those posts.

The next writing stream will be a series of tributes. Tributes to life. The things that make it glow and the parts that teach the most profound lessons. It will be tributes to white walls and curve balls, tributes to sleep and the people who actually get some of it. And we will see what it evolves into.

It will be shining a light on common humanity and what allows us to belong here as we are.

I am pretty excited about it, because at last I feel that writers block has lifted and I have something to say. I hope you stay tuned.

On my nightstand... it's overloaded

When people post lists or pictures of the books they love or are reading at the moment, I always feel inspired... my fingers type in the url for my favorite online book store and really it all happens so fast, my brain doesn't really understand the chain of events until the confirmation email lands in my inbox. I love books. I see my partner's eyes glaze over every time another brown parcel is stuffed into the mailbox, "Do  you really read all of them, I never see you finish one"... he dares to share. Really I feel he shouldn't have any say, as he might be the last person on the planet who still buys 20 cd's a month.

Anyway, here is what I have my nose buried in right now. Of course due to work I buy a lot of book about meditation, inner work, women and story work. But at times it just becomes too much and I have to mix it up and read other kinds of literature.

So as inspiration, and clearly I don't only have 1 book going at once, this is what's on my nightstand at the moment...

Books I love...
Books I love...

I placed Karl right in the middle, as I am sure he would appreciate it that company...

The perfect, imperfect poem

imperfect

Maybe we just misunderstand what it says - I'm-perfect... :)

All I want to do today is share a poem about the icky and sticky subject of imperfection.  It is such a lovely poem and I feel it resonating with  A LOT in my life. Do you?

 

IMPERFECTION

I am falling in love with my imperfections The way I never get the sink really clean, forget to check my oil, lose my car in parking lots, miss appointments I have written down, am just a little late.

I am learning to love the small bumps on my face the big bump of my nose, my hairless scalp, chipped nail polish, toes that overlap.

Learning to love the open-ended  mystery of not knowing why

I am learning to fail to make lists, use my time wisely, read the books I should.

Instead I practice inconsistency, irrationality, forgetfulness.

Probably I should hang my clothes neatly in the closet all the shirts together, then the pants, send Christmas cards, or better yet a letter telling of my perfect family.

But I’d rather waste time listening to the rain, or lying underneath my cat learning to purr.

I used to fill every moment with something I could cross off later.

Perfect was the laundry done and folded all my papers graded the whole truth and nothing but

Now the empty mind is what I seek the formless shape the strange  off center sometimes fictional me.

Elizabeth Carlson

Hey fatso... you are looking good

1481457389_86532082cb_b
1481457389_86532082cb_b

Well I guess this a more iffy subject for me. So I will dive into it a little gently.

The foundation of my work is that you belong here exactly as you are. There is no perfect ideal to strive for. You have an enormous amount of wisdom in you and maybe it takes slowing down to listen to that. I wish that this could be the way we all step into our lives. This is not to say that we can't shift, unfold, evolve. I am exploring the starting point and the tendency to feel wrong, to feel that we only deserve a place when we fit and mold ourselves into a certain standard - however we define what that looks like.

I know that for me not owning that statement has been exhausting. In motherhood I read books, looked at women who wizzed through the challenging parts and I felt like a constant failure. The art of comparison once again left me feeling less worthy. The foundation of being wrong or less than, isn't a nice place to be and very very seldom leads to a life with happiness and ease.

I will be digging deeper into that statement in further posts... for now a story of how I was challenged recently.

I was out for drinks with my two sisters. We had a great time and we decided to end the good times with a burger. Now it is no secret that I have put on weight after the 2 pregnancies and what not, but burger it was - YOLO or something.

In the cue some guys felt that we had cut in line, and looked at me and said that I probably shouldn't be in there anyway considering my weight. Well tears galore and I felt shitty. Reduced to an unworthy lump of Blubber (did you every read Judy Blume's book? It's awesome... anyway).

Fastforward 2 weeks and my man and I are away for the weekend for a music festival. As I am coming out of the toilet area a woman stops me. She is a scout for a model agency and thinks I would be an awesome model for the normal size/curve department... huh...

So which "truth" do I go with? A third - my own? How I see myself? How I feel about myself? Or do I let either of their perspectives rule and dictate wether I feel worthy just as I am? Do I wait till I have xx weight to go out again or do I pout my lips and work it like a supermodel? The "you belong here, exactly as you are" reminds me that none of the above is my truth. It is their eyes looking at me. What matters is how I look at me. And this has been such an awesome reminder.

This is what we can work on - how you see you. And knowing that you belong here, you already are. <3

What is Self-compassion?

Great question!

Baby Self Love

Some days I feels very unclear and I am judging myself a lot. Other days it feels very clear, and I do not beat myself up.

I believe in exploring, rather than giving answers (to some questions anyway) and I want you to feel into what self-compassion means and feels to you.

When you read the word self-compassion what comes up for you?

But, because it can be helpful to have an wise woman's word I would like to offer Kristin Neff’s thoughts on Self-Compassion. I am truly inspired by her and her work and can highly recommend her book. 

She writes that self-compassion consists of 3 elements: Self-Kindness, Common Humanity and Mindfulness. I feel they interweave, but that the first step is awareness. This brings us to know, and to the only moment we can move forward from.

Practice for this coming week

First step is really to become aware. Checking in and getting intimate with what is. An inner weather report if you will. So I'd like to introduce the short check-in.

Whenever you sit in the car, leave the house, go to the restroom or remember, do the following:

  • Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths
  • Connect to whatever is going on right now, thoughts, kids screaming, lists and to do’s etc. As best you can without judging or hurrying to change it, just noticing.
  • Sense the body, feet, buttocks, back, hands, head
  • Not changing anything just noticing.
  • When you feel ready open your eyes and continue your day

Do this as many times a day as you feel called to. What do you notice when you check in? Write a few words down in your journal or share in the comments below.

With love

Carina